The American Corporate KGB

Allen Simpson is wondering if http://www.kgb.com/ can answer my question "Is it possible to save the world?". ...but it costs 50 cents? WTF? 2 seconds ago · Comment · Like

Allen Simpson at 10:12pm March 11

Then I would ask them if I'm secretly famous.

Then I would ask them how their mom is.

Then I would ask them what their SAT score was.

Then I would ask them if they even bothered studying.

Then I would ask them if they even read the book or tried in life.

Then I would ask why are they working where they are.

Then I would ask them where I could get a whole lot of expert knowledge and money quickly.

Then I would ask them if the human condition is usury.

Then I would ask them why.

That's it. Why. Why is my question. And all answers must be given and explained in terms of 'why' all the way back to the meaning of life. And it must be a relatively noble, fair, non-destructive, sustainable one.

Then I would ask them if certain religions can scientifically be taken seriously except in psychological terms.

One by one.

Then I would take those notes and use them to make a case to the world using the internets. In lolspeak.

Pure f*cking comedy. ;)

--> With pictures of pets and animals in lolspeak.

Do you REALLY think man is so damn advanced or 'right' at this stage in the game?

Amazing Posts

Historical Facts On Daylight Saving Time

Posted: 08 Mar 2009 04:37 AM PDT

1784: Ben Franklin floats idea of daylight-saving time during his time in Paris.

1907: London builder William Willett is the first to seriously push the concept in a pamphlet titled “The Waste of Daylight.” His plan: Advance clocks by 20 minutes each Sunday in April, roll them back by 20 minutes each Sunday in September.

1916: To conserve fuel during World War I, Germany and Austria become the first nations to adopt daylight-saving time.

1918: The United States gets daylight time fever. Congress approves the measure on March 19; it goes into effect 12 days later, on the 31st.

1919: Still a largely agrarian society of early risers, the United States dumps daylight time shortly after World War I ends.

1942: President Franklin Roosevelt revives “War Time” at the start of World War II.

1945: War ends, so does War Time. The option of keeping daylight time is left open to local jurisdictions. This creates a hodge-podge of time zones; according to the Web site WebExhibits.org, at one point the 35-mile drive between Moundsville, W.Va., and Steubenville, Ohio, required seven time changes.

1966: Congress creates a uniform - more or less - daylight time for the United States. States are given the choice of opting out.

1974: In response to Arab oil embargo and resulting fuel crisis, the daylight-saving time Energy Act is passed, pumping clocks ahead by an hour for a 15-month period running from Jan. 6 to April 27, 1975.

1986: Law is passed to begin daylight-saving time at 2 a.m. the first Sunday of April and end it at 2 a.m. the last Sunday of October.

2005: Energy Policy Act of 2005 extends daylight-saving time by four weeks beginning in 2007.

2007: New, extended daylight-saving time went into effect.

Did You Know

- It’s daylight-saving time, not daylight savings time.

- A U.S. Department of Transportation study found that daylight-saving time cuts electricity usage nationwide by about 1 percent a day.

- About 70 countries worldwide observe daylight-saving time. The only major industrialized nations that don’t: Japan, India and China.

- In 1999, a terrorist attack on Israel’s West Bank was thwarted when the terrorists failed to take into account the switch back to standard time. The bomb went off an hour early, killing only the terrorists.

- Data shows violent crime is down 10 percent to 13 percent during daylight-saving time than standard times, according to a study from the U.S. Law Enforcement Assistance Administration.

- Passengers on Amtrak during the traditional “fall back” might experience a delay. Trains cannot leave a station before their scheduled time, so in early November trains will stop at 2 a.m. and wait an hour before resuming. In the spring, trains become an hour behind schedule when time leaps forward an hour, but they keep running to try to make up the difference.

- Daylight-saving time is not observed in Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and Arizona (except Arizona’s Navajo Nation, which does observe the time change).

____________

You'd have thunk God and the prophets of times LONG gone by would have bothered to invent such obvious systems much earlier...would you not?

What's that you say? Technology changes everything?

Allow me to take care of that check, mate. ;)

BTW...no, I haven't even read it all the way yet, but the first few lines were enough for me to feel compelled to point out how OLD some of the thinking that governs us is.

Damn...I mean, I'm getting made to look foolish by 18 year old girls for respecting women--and yet somehow there is supposed to be marriage and 76% of Americans are allegedly Christians?

You've telling me 3 out of every 4 people I meet are stupid enough to believe in the Bible as literal truth? That can't be possible. It is a terrifying scenario if it is true, because it means they aren't just sheep, they are sheep that behave like ostriches.

I guess that just means you have to build an ostrich communication network underground.

Help me Jebus!

;)

'night

+AES

The WTF "toes in the water" club report. Operation: Wargame?

Howdy kids!

So, as any of you who follow me on Facebook or otherwise know, last night I was once again momentarily lured by curiosity, and the desire for new music for the radio show, and a certain degree of peer pressure/social-relative-isolation back into the fringe of the Hollywood afterhours club scene.

My friend Darren, a.k.a. 'D'Morse', is a DJ/acquaintance of mine from back when I was momentarily producing a nightclub in Hollywood circa 2002. Needless to say the entire saga of me foolishly dating the, highly-attractive, yet wrong kind of women that led me into said club scene is a novel in and of itself, but that's a whole nother story that I'm sure you've heard me go in circles about on my radio show by now.

Upon momentarily revisiting a small scale version of the demographic yesterday evening, I am suddenly reminded of many hilarious things I had previously forgotten, but standing there drinking my $5 bottles of lemon water, the only things I could think of were:

• A.) WTF? lol WTF? lol WTF? lol facepalm

• B.) Man, the music is great, the lights are great, in times past the 'experience' was really great...but, seriously, some of these people are the problem where as others are being put in the basket with them for no good reason. Hmmm...

• C.) This is why I'm afraid of women. Yes, you're really 'hot'...but...ummm...if you're the type of girl that will approach me all 'frisky' like as a stranger in the club...then you are the type of girl that will approach other men/women all 'frisky' like...and having known what some men and women who act like that are like...I'm not impressed that you have such disturbingly low personal boundaries even if you are aesthetically eye-catching. Sue me.

• D.) Wow...if this is the basis of my adaptable platform for world human behavior association restructuring....I've already got Asia in my pocket.

• E.) I have got to find a way to get a camera crew in here to film this mockumentary/script I wrote about just this type of circus a few years back.

• F.) Damnit...I wish Darren would just give me the CD's I came for instead of making me stay here dead-sober, bobbing like a robotic wall flower, as I watch him play rockstar/DJ.

• G.) Hmmm....I see lots of ways to improve the operation and maybe make money off of it...but no, NO we aren't wasting our time in the club scene again, except to have connections for entertaining new friends if/when needed.

• H.) Damnit...I have really got to find a way to get a camera in here to film this.

I could compare and contrast it to the handful of WTF behind-the-scenes HandyCam videos I took back in the day and make a hilarious case-study out of it...but then again, I've got a lot of other more important things to do...but I just found a long-forgotten goldmine of comedic material of mine.

Add it to the list/skit/routine.

Since last time I dipped my toes in the water a few months ago just to see what there was to see, there have been some slight improvements made...like the bathroom attendant has now added a laptop and mini-keyboard to his act. Now, as you stand in line to pee or give him a dollar just to wash your hands, at least you're treated to some modern day street art-type music as well.

I wonder if this could be used as a metaphor in politics?

Oh...you don't even know...the really funny stuff is the line-up of characters you see on/around the dance floor and how they interact with one-another. Some hilarious...some worry me...no, seriously. The bad can ruin the goodtime for everybody...so we do need more truth and transparency in the world in general.

Having spent many years away from such a nonsensical sub-culture that I can't completely explain my momentary participation in the first place (except to make a movie one day ;), going back is like instant 3D deja vu. It's like the same fascinating behavior is at hand, but with a different cast of characters, and from an even less-thrilling viewpoint. What this has is the potential to be the human common denominator...but only in the right hands (cough I suppose me and a team of selected experts to start cough)...and become the foundation for a new world understanding of accentuating the positives of human nature. Sure, there are some bad apples in there, but, if you take the 'fuel' out of their hands, and use it as the reward in a transparent yet controlled circumstance...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if I had the resources and 'legal flexibility', I could design an island that would blow Disneyland and the Playboy Mansion combined out of the water, and might even give all religions and even atheists some common ground on which to stand.

Anywho, to make a long story short--came, saw, was bored but reminded of ideas for a TV project, don't plan to go to the Winter Music Conference in Miami as invited, but still think the world and human condition could be rewired to a 'higher state of understanding' with the right system.

That's about it.

It's still raining dysfunctional government and nonsense on TV...so I'm going to keep working on improving myself over trying to speak truth or reason to people in compromised financial positions. It's like a standing joke at this point right?

Alright, I'm done for now.

:)

Happy Monday!

+AES

Update: 5 minutes later--Classically I'm watching a report on Paris Hilton's behavior in selling sex to sell burgers to make money by selling the illusion of money and sex. Anywho, being an object of sexual desire is not a bad thing, but 'socializing' your sexual behavior so shallowly for attention or short-term pleasure isn't exactly pretty nor sexy if you ask me. You're worth more if you make yourself worth something a lot more valuable than money. R-e-s-?

WTF?

Yes, the radio show will be on at 1 (PST) today as usual.

(insert applause)

Don't fucking ask me what to expect.

(insert standing ovation)

Have a great day!!!

:)

+AES

Update 3:30 p.m.-->Well, I'm not too sure about professional formatting, but it was damn sure funny doing it. God-willing Goldilocks will do all the technical work to get it online in podcast format, since that is what she has conveniently been trained to do by CBS. lol Of all the lists I made, of all the funny/important stuff I wanted to talk about--next to none of it made the broadcast, but yet we managed to laugh our asses off about each other for 2 hours straight. I should fire myself and rehire myself back in a different way. Yes, again.

God and/or Hollywood just loves to mock me.

So, not even one week after my previous relatively-dead-end yet acceptably lucrative "normal" full-time job as a Marketing Director ended, the phone rings completely out of the blue.

It's Hollywood calling...in a beyond comically paradoxical way.

For those of you who have been completely unaware of my secret writing project over the last few years, it has essentially attempted to touch on all aspects of the human condition in one way or another in regard to how to build/design a more idealized society. As such, it included everything from Jesus-type rhetoric to mocking gangsta rap and any number of random solutions on how to "save the world" using modern communication technology.

Sure, it's unusual and "unique", but I presume everyone is used to it by now.

So here I am attempting to approach solving society's problems from a "rock-bottom up" Jesus-type perspective, while at the same time ranting to the mainstream media in colorful enough language that occasionally my two cents make it into the ultimate upper echelon of "healthy debate" Obama so often encourages.

It's a long story, but we'll get back to that another time.

The present day finds me freshly showered and about to throw on some casual clothes to head to CBS Radford Studios...where they plan to dress me up as a Nazi SS officer for an episode of CSI: New York.

(faceplam)

Well, although the entire scenario sounds almost absurd given my preaching over the last few years, I assume it makes sense in that I do look German or 'Nordic' to an extent. In truth I'm told (by my mom) I'm German, Irish, Polish, and French...which in itself is a paradox. Using nationalist behavioral stereotypes at various points in history on my own ethnicity means I singlehandedly conquered myself, was fighting mad enough about it to stage a grassroots insurrection, and eventually evolved all sides into a modern version where all previously warring factions appear remarkably similar.

Eh, whatever, today's reality is just a non-speaking part on TV.

What made this even more humorous than the initial call from the casting director the other day was actually listening to the line-up of characters scheduled for today's shoot. Everything from modern day FBI agents and detectives, to pretend camera crews and boom mic operators, to pretend members of a delegation from the Israeli Embassy, to three other SS officers, to some pretend concentration camp prisoners, to a handful of "Hitler youth".

WTF?

One week I'm sitting at a desk, stuck in front of a computer, bored out-of-my-mind eloquently describing software I don't remotely understand, the next week Hollywood has me dressed up in the ultimate WWII monkey suit and staging scenes from history that were long before my time.

Well, it is damn sure comedy if nothing else.

No more time to ramble, must go to work as highly underappreciated set decoration.

Two steps forward, one step back and to the side.

Hope everyone is having a relatively great Friday!

:)

+AES

(stop mocking me for my 'positive' signout)

P.S. I still have no clue whether SAG, EDD, Hollywood, Washington, my "tail", or just pure blind coincidence (a.k.a. "God") is responsible for this...but it is work! :)

The government is a bad joke.

So, I'm playing the Guinea Pig role to test the system from the bottom up right?

Sure. Fine. No problem. My ego can take it. This was the entire plan.

As per the "being laid off" process, the obvious first step is to file a claim for Unemployment Insurance. The idea is to have the government pay you back the money you paid into it while working to keep you alive while you look for work in the economy that is laying off more workers by the day.

Fair enough.

So like a responsible little citizen I filed all the pertinent paperwork immediately and CORRECTLY and waited on "the system" to send the next hoop to jump through, which they did today.

Three envelopes.

One to detail any work you do over the next "claim period" of 2 weeks.

One explaining that you are required to register with CalJOBS, the state job search site.

And one more detailing the benefits of your claim, what your earnings were as reported by your previous employer, and what documentation is required for proof of identification before they send you any payments.

No problem. Par for the course.

...except that you notice your employer grossly reported your earnings completely wrong. Judging by the caliber of the talent I was used to witnessing while working at the circus, I'm not surprised, but since they reported the "income earned every two weeks" as the "income for the quarter" (3 month periods)...before my raise...the numbers EDD based my payments on are less than 1/6th of the correct amount. WTF? People, get your shit together for Christ's sake.

So anywho, like I said, judging by the list of accounting oversights I witnessed while working there, this isn't that surprising, but it's not the reason I'm blogging about it, because it should be easily fixed by calling EDD as they instruct you to right there on the form. Right?

So you call the number and get a recorded voice announcing they have increased the weekly payment amount by $25 on all claims as per the "stimulus package". In light of the bank bailouts, I would almost consider this a slap in the face, but that's irrelevant at the moment.

The reason I took the time to write is because at the beginning of the call it announces "they don't have enough people to answer the calls" before giving you the $25 speech. Then, it recommends that you call on Wednesday or Thursday (It IS Thursday!) says goodbye and hangs up.

There's your solution. Being hung-up on, with no alternate course of action, with nothing resolved, with their deadlines stated, and their shortcomings affecting your very ability to exist despite the fact that YOU paid for them and this out of your life as exchanged for salary.

That my friends is a perfect example of just how pathetic beyond comprehension the system is designed, and EXACTLY why my "alternate plan for history" involves electing Google to redesign and run the government from the ground up.

So basically, there is a night/day error that has a very short stated deadline for resolution or else you're SOL (Shit Outta Luck for those of your unfamiliar with how normal people speak since the government instead chooses to spend its time and resources enforcing things like OPI laws)...and you cannot get in contact with the system, as the system itself specifies in order to resolve it.

Mind you, for people living paycheck-to-paycheck this could be a life threatening scenario, and to build/run/ALLOW a system to function in this way is simply unacceptable.

Why not hire some fucking EDD staff to avoid completely underscoreing the paradox of having all the money disappear into the pockets of those that would never even experience such an insult to their existence as this?

Yet another feather in my cap of using my "front lines" position to illustrate why those in power should not be in power partying at the White House and forming conga lines as they system they are privileged enough to be responsible for destroys the lives of people that do not have the power to change it.

Too bad the president isn't secretly a person going through these same mind-boggling experiences first hand...then he might be pissed off enough to take specific action to correct it.

I digress.

I'm sure this saga isn't over yet.

Have a great day!

:)

+AES

Update: I reported and requested assistance with my problem via the "Contact Us" feature of their website. Hold your breath and we'll see how long this takes. They should refer people to the website on the form and voicemail, but it appears they haven't been updated since February 2007. Wish me (them) luck! ;)

Update #2: Called first thing in the morning...same scenario: "We are receiving more calls than we can answer...blah, blah, blah...goodbye." Click. Why does their workforce and system not 'flex' and adapt instantly to the workload at hand...especially when it is such a critical element?

Update #3: Oh no! It just gets worse and more frustrating as we going, knowing that they have made a glaring mistake and there is apparently simply no way to contact EDD because they are "receiving more calls than they can handle". This is the definition of failure. I've called and called first thing in the morning (I would LOVE to see the statistics on how many other people are calling and how the EDD is run)...at best you can get through to the next menu...then get hung up on just the same. It's incomprehensible. There is a mistake on their end that affects one's ability to survive...and they simply are unavailable and their solution is just to have a computer say goodbye and hang-up? Grrr...

Timemachine--> The Logistics of World Domination February 11,2008

Alright, so it occurred to me at some point I should take the time to go back and read what I write, and then analyze where I was at in life when writing it, and see how my views compare then with how they do today. Even though it's all still relative and subjective, which leaves next to infinite room for improvement. lol

Since my old blog was even more half-assed than this, I didn't publicize it. However, now that I'm using a new site that functions more smoothly and keeps track of things much more professionally, I figured I'd go back and revisit my blog from years past to see what I was preaching while updating my mind and current blog with the content.

Occassionally I dispense abstract nonsense just to see what kind of splash it gets in the media stream. You can tell whether or not people understand and relate just by their reactions. But, in my defense, compared to the other 'Jackass-esque' nonsense on TV, this only provides amusing conversational cannon fodder and a comical back story line.

I typed in today's date in my blog from last year, and it took me to this one from February 11th. F*ck if I know. That's why I decided to upgrade from MySpace. It was dysfunctional for my purposes more than I realized. Great for bands and promoting I suppose...blog archiving, not so much.

Anywho, that's neither here nor there. But here's what nonsense I was stumbling across, reposting, and then commenting on last year.

My what a funny world.

(insert Godwin's Law)

Everything below this line is from last year.
_______________

Monday, February 11, 2008

F*cking nevermind. It wouldn't copy the formatting correctly. Mind-boggling.

Counterfeit Personalities

It just occurred to me...that might be a good way of describing what I take issue with more than anything else, because just like counterfeit money, when it is passed unknowingly, the receiver incurs the debt.

It sounded like an interesting metaphor for lies. And, I know, I know...it's not a perfect world...but you don't want to trust people like Casey Anthony obviously.

Now then, let's take a little peak under the hood of government shall we?

For the sake of the experiment, erase all names. Now then, what we are going to model and demonstrate is how the gears are designed to work. Why this country was founded by revolution in the first place. Then compare them to the "ideals" on which all great countries are founded provided they are based on truth not religion.

Sounds fair enough right? Hell, make truth itself the religion, and you're saved from yourself.

Problem is, this can make you vulnerable, because, in times past they could take advantage of you with carefully placed half-truths and exaggerated arguments.

Why argue whether or not Jesus was born in a manger, when the obvious real debate would be why in the name of all that is honest and holy should we be expected to buy this in the first place?

Do the right thing for the wrong reason?

That is wrong. That is a salesman having taken over what began on principle for his own profit.

Which is how the system was designed. The only problem is, people's ability to communicate and obtain knowledge has grown significantly almost over night.

Thus the entire purpose of the story I suppose.

Anywho, if you know people or work with people who lie to you, is that really what makes you think they respect your best interest above their own unfairly? WTF?

Exactly. Just assume technology will eventually = the +ru+h.

Stupid abstract code writing. Now then, don't start sweating because God has offered to give you flexibility...provided you have treated others equally kindly and flexibly with what power you had over them. It makes sense right?

People are people, but they should be required to treat others as they would like to be treated or risk having it come back on them. How many billion is too many?

Here's an idea. Past a certain point, instead of 'taxing' the rich, just make a game out of required charitable donation that involves actually giving a f*ck. What's wrong? You don't give a f*ck?

That's fine...but it'll cost you just a bit more. Fair enough? You still don't give a f*ck?

About anything but money? Are you f*cking kidding me? What is the point of money again?

What is the point of truth and reality? What is the point of life?

So, in summary, people should be required to deal honestly with full disclosure in relation to monetary matters that affect us all? Love and war can be really troublesome distractions, that a little flexibility, reason, and understanding can avoid.

A few more notes on saving the world...

Alright, so here we go again--I have exposed my mind to the media stream at various points throughout the day and now have some notes on how to separate the good from the bad from the ugly from the WTF etc.

1.) The whole Rush Limbaugh debate. Simply make him speak ONLY in terms of the past $700 bailout when Bush was in office. If that's the Republican brand he's selling, then he obviously cannot be trusted nor taken seriously. Yes, it really is just that easy.

Don't worry, this doesn't just apply to Rush, this applies across the board for it is a unsustainable lifestyle/spending addiction America suffers from...some much worse than others.

(insert picture of Paris Hilton)

Trust me, if she wasn't born into and conditioned by such circumstance, she most likely would be a completely different human being. Although not necessarily in any specific way, which is essentially saying nothing.

(Insert the comically unreal housewives of Orange county)

Just like an addiction, which causes behavior to spin more and more recklessly out of control while preoccupied by not-necessarily-completely-well-thought-out obsessions...all good things must have limits and moderation to make them worth having.

Desperate for attention and insecure and hiding behind money to solve that?

Join the club. It's human nature.

What good is having something valuable if you aren't using it? What is the bare minimum? What do you consider excess? What is the point at which more does not have a proportional return on performance improvement?

I will agree that a hand-out, "victimized" mindset is not the way to approach policy...except in the specific instances when people have been victimized. And then you specifically track down the slightly-more-abusive mindsets that did it, and expect them, and only them, to specifically pay that person back. Easier said than done, yes I know, but it only makes sense to fight rhetoric with rhetoric.

Beyond that, you've got a problem from the first bailout onward. It's a psychological problem, because people know when they are being robbed (and therefore treated unfairly) regardless of how you spin it. Republicans are just as guilty, so it really takes some balls for Rush Limbaugh to speak as if he's Ron Paul without that same high ground to stand on. What seems to be quite often overlooked is the disparity in the American standard of living...not between classes...but OVER TIME.

All that money has been selfish collected at the top, not redistributed through trickle down anything. If the system is based on greed...and greed for money is what drives it...do you really expect the majority of people with lots of money to share it out of the kindness of their heart since that is how they became rich in the first place? That is counter-intuitive is it not?

Just last year we were watching specials about "The rise of the Super Rich"...and now we realize the consequences of allowing such excess to go to an overly comfortable few instead of the borderline many.

Just the year before last for Christmas...the "Best of Craigslist" included a cocky post from some Wall Street type bragging about what an obscene amount of money he had...and then going on to parlay it into attempting to attract female companionship with the lure of money.

Is that what this country was founded on?

Get back to me.

Happy Square Root day biatches!

:)

+AES

P.S. There should be plenty to go around if the system were being designed and controlled more carefully. You do need to install breeding restriction requirements as some point...or else human kind will just destroy the planet's life-sustaining resources like a cancer. If they are blinded by money in doing so then that's just a double-whammy.

The Healthcare System is...

criminal.

It's basically like saying "your money or your life"...but at an abusive price.

Irony.

That said, if so many people weren't bringing irresponsible innocent lives into this world under compromised circumstance, it might be more reasonable to take care of the ones that are here.

I'm telling you, offer people a higher, protected standard of living in exchange for NOT reproducing without meeting certain requirements first.

Call it what you like, but not all people can be trusted equally, and America has some glaring examples of what not to do in certain areas. It also has some ideal examples of what to do. So, the catch is, you have to design an incentive-based system besides just a punishment-based one.

blah, blah, blah...I'm going to workout.

P.S.

"That sh*t is wizard" apparently now means "that sh*t is good" according to the Daily Show.

Sure, hey, why not.

Note to self: Learn how to work magic logic box network.

The three little pigs...

Today's assignment:

Compare and contrast to the economy.

That's right. Start explaining the scenarios in fairytale fashion. And start with comparing American's behavior with the three little pigs scenario.

It's not rocket science said Bolt to his imaginary friend.

No more wit for now. Wow, the media stream is so polluted sometimes.

Why are they trying to prop up a pile of financial lies?

Why not make everyone behave less capitalistically on each other?

At least give people the option "truth or fantasy" as some point.

I'd have to say it was a good day.

It's time for the Daily Show and Colbert Report!

'night!

+AES

Blah, blah, blah...the economy.

O.K.

Fine.

Whatever works.

So it turns out on Friday my latest job as prized pet was downsized--to the point of no longer existing. But, to be honest, I'm actually quite pleased about it. It was great proving that I can keep a job and all, but since I'm a perfectionist at heart and much more "free spirit" than caged worker bee, the thought of actually getting to see the beach I live across the street from instead of working in a metal building with fluorescent lighting for the summer isn't exactly all tragedy.

I have a few months cushion, and a few options beyond that, as well as a list of presumed easily attainable "aspirational" goals, so, for all practical purposes, I feel like a free man again for the time being. I'm all for working hard, but I'm also for getting recognition and reward for said work, not smothered by something out of a scene from where Idiocracy meets Slumdog Millionaire.

For the record--I haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire, but I'm guessing.

Anywho, now that my apartment in Long Beach no longer feels like a prison, suddenly the days are brighter and my thinking is officially back to thinking about all the things it daydreams about otherwise. I presume this only means I need a better fit for my personality. Plus, the Jaguar's mom texted that "God has a better job for me anyway".

Sure. Fine. Close enough. Can I hold him to that?

At the moment I'm waiting on Super Roger to get back from Panama to write an optimized cover letter for me. He's a much better writer than I am, and he should know me well enough to make me sound good from a 3rd person perspective without committing perjury. lol

In the meantime I'm enjoying eating healthy, working out, catching up on a serious to-do list, and not being forced to listen to incorrect analysis and then take action on it just to get paid every week. Rate your boss! (cough, government, cough) So I'll consider the recession a positive thing, since it is change that brings opportunity, and the Lord apparently works in sarcastically backwards ways.

"No Allen, I won't make you instantly rich amongst a small, spoiled group--but I will bring many more decent people down to your level without reason overnight."

Damnit...and they still wouldn't listen to me.

God, did you really cause/allow this economic collapse to happen?

Certainly not, right? I mean, if you are all-powerful and all, and your name is being used on the money, would one not think that you would have the power to instantly use your network to remedy such "unacceptable oversight" of the way the great Earth experiment is going?

Seriously, consider life God's hobby. You've got a universe which is like the material. Under the right circumstances the material can form, and then learn to form itself. Now then, when your life experiment has evolved to the point that a very small percentage of WTF have the capability to affect the life experience of so many, is there not a better way to convey the point?

Should Rush Limbaugh have his fortune wiped out and be forced to live at rock bottom as he is "role playing" the other side of what his words do not see? Only fair right? I always question fat men. People will now have to release full disclosure information and have it posted next to their opinions as your hear them. Somewhere between Rush and rappers we might all learn something.

My dad was a big Rush fan, but that's another story. Plus, even if I told my mom about how I saved the Republicans from themselves, she wouldn't care or believe me. So what's the point? If political opinions are supposed to be formed from a purely selfish perspective, then... Well, I guess there's that pesky "consider the source" problem again. I have a REALLY hard time believing anyone these days, because advice is all relative, and I'm intelligent enough to see how those with bully pulpits spin things. "They must think you're stupid."

And, by putting everyone in that boat but yourself (by use of the word "you're" in a public speech), you just created a self-full filling prophecy. Technically, relatively, subjectively, proportionally--some people ARE stupid. How stupid? Stupid enough to believe what YOU'RE saying without understanding or knowing the entire game being played? So then, that technically makes them stupid as you insinuate that the other party thinks they're stupid...because they are, for the exact reason you are demonstrating.

Mind boggling in the brilliance and tragedy of being right in all the wrong ways.

Hey, join the club. But that's why it's called "healthy debate".

Here's the problem...not EVERYONE listening to you is that stupid. Many are, but not all, but thank God America is such a united, calm, rational, respectful, healthy, intelligent, well-educated, and peaceful society.

Nothing personal, just more sarcasm at the buffet where that came from.

But don't worry, I'm here to put a bunch of us back in their places, so we can understand just what the f*ck we're dealing with.

(10 minute break)

Sorry, I had to go to the window to see what all the fuss is about. Three police cars, a fire truck and an ambulance. What was the big deal? Nothing apparently. Just looked like the standard "official over-reaction" to God only knows what. The cops just came back outside, got back in their cars, and everyone just drove off. Where's the real-time police blotter when you need one? In Texas, the police would find our dogs for us when they ran off, here...they are so "hypersensitized" from dealing with thugs all day they act more like soldiers. Hmmm...

Well, that's the effect sirens and lights and guns and tasers and conditioning have I suppose. If you're desperate for attention in a career, there are obviously several paths open to you.

Anywho, so after that I was interrupted by stopping to watch the Jaguar in the kitchen trying to make a smoothie. This would normally be nothing of interest, but the way she was standing towards the counter, with a wide stance like she was about to wrestle the blender, made me say something smartassed to her about it as she apparently didn't realize how serious she looked when trying to get the "magic bullet" blender cup thing onto the motorized portion.

Since I was by her end of the hall anyway, I decided to stop by the bedroom to see what her kitties were up to. Open the door and---low and behold---apparently they do actually watch TV.

The little kitty citizens probably think the magic nonsense box is God, but they don't understand what it's saying, but if they were advanced animal minds simply incapable of speech, they might recognize patterns of shapes or colors. So, in theory, it just occurred to me that one could subliminally register in certain animal minds patterns of directed thought that could be perceived as--and therefore technically be--God.

Yeah, I'm not sure either. I just make this crap up as I go, but it was interesting that Lucas gave me a "why the hell are you bothering us can't you see I'm watching TV?" look while Bella was apparently bored with whatever programming and rolled over wanting attention. I've never personally had cats, so pardon me for being surprised that they learned how to watch TV. Christ, even ours pets dreams are now indirectly controlled by the magic nonsense box.

Hare-brained idea: The Pet Escapism Channel

Anywho, this will conclude my token publication for the day as it is apparent I'm on a tangent not directly related to saving the world. Watching the news is like a curse, because instead of being fed information, you're being fed bullshit half the time. Watching all these assholes get up and express their views using absolutes as fact when they obviously only have a very rare and insulated perspective that is self-centered to say the least...makes even my own nonsense look almost rational.

We need more critical thinking tests in this world.

(insert random call out of the blue to work on CSI: New York on Friday)

Hmmm... Eh, sure, why not? The question is, how do such things just randomly happen out of nowhere? God? EDD? SAG? My stupid "tail" chasing me? Pure coincidence?

Eh, whatever works.

;)

+AES

P.S. Just spoke with the casting director...the part calls for dressing up as a German soldier and possibly holding a German Shepard... He said "Are you comfortable with that?". I said "It's only television." Why does God mock me? Well, if prince whatever can get away with doing it for Halloween, then wearing a uniform makes me no worse than Tom Cruise...and that's not bad company. Although if I ever do run for political office instead of quietly trying to influence the world, I can just see some retard trying to use this against me. Anyway, while I'm on the subject, all the evil shit the Nazis did was wrong, but you do have to give the Germans credit for designing some impressive schemes and machines. The Nazis were wrong, they drew the lines wrong, but they did have one of the greatest propaganda machines in history. Well, them and every other country that tries so damn hard to control things...but don't get me started. I would presume the internet will destroy the need for such logic in all civilized worlds at once very soon. That is all.