Skin Deep

Here's a question:

If someone wasn't interested in you, and that was fine and cool, until they found out you were well-off and/or famous, then suddenly they were, would that make you feel bad? Insecure?

How would you treat them?

How should you treat them?

But it is completely understandable right?

Is this not the prevalent dynamic that catalyzes the concept of 'celebrity' in our culture?

A bunch of people with cameras? I've recently discovered girls that are just like MySpace micro-celebrities. Hell, even some of the girls I've dated have been mini-celebrities in certain circles. But why does one so desperately seem to need/want that attention, even if it's obvious by God's will to begin with?

God wouldn't have made you attractive if he didn't want people to look at you, right? So isn't it a given that you're attractive, and you don't need people to tell you that constantly? But what happens when that's all they see or care about? Is the human condition of most only as skin deep as it seems?

Hmmm...

The funny thing about dating trophies is you have to expect other people to look at them, that's what makes you feel special or whatever. It's a status symbol I suppose. But if you don't approach people that are in respectfully committed relationships, why would you fear people admiring your trophy?...unless your trophy is admiring them back?

Things that make you go hmmm...

Be prepared...this is a TOTALLY random entry pieced together at different times in reference to different things that have crossed my radar and feeble mind recently...but the examples I cite are a bit dated, although they have relevance in regard to social context and the impacts on behavior and thinking.

Yeah, ummm...whatever Allen, just start rambling already please so we an get this over with?

K. Fine.

To be honest, I was never fascinated with the fact that my ex-g/f became a Laker Girl while I was dating her...with my help and support. I kind of liked her more before that role consumed her entire sense of self-worth. She was just as hot before, we had just as many if not even more good times, and she was just as much of a trophy...my trophy, not one that always had to be on public display. But even when she was, it wasn't any big deal. I was cool b/c I could get my friends that gave a damn about basketball Lakers tickets, and it was kind of cool having all the Laker Girls hanging out at your house and going out as a group...but from the point that happened onward, our relationship changed in a way.

It was no longer "Allen's dating Candy...wow, look at her.", it suddenly became "You're dating a Laker Girl?"

WTF?

I guess 'celebrity' is rarely about the person, it's just about the hype machine and facial or brand recognition courtesy of the mass media distribution network. I mean, with all due respect, have you read some of these peoples tweets? lol

So anywho...

After Candy became a Laker Girl, our entire normal conversation with people changed because they saw the brand and position as something they recognized from TV.

Kind of like a game of Memory.

How fooked up is that?

They could care less about her talent, but I always had her do backflips and all kinds of crazy shit just to impress people anyway.

lol Wait, that might not have come out right. She was the acrobatic one of the bunch, so occasionally she would like to showoff her skills by doing backflips down the street or whatever...and I simply never stopped her.

See I'm not all super-careful and perfect all the time. Hell, I'm about to actually write this and post it, knowing damn well it is outside of the mainstream thinking (but not outside understanding where I'm coming from ;).

I did try to stop her from the fastlane drugs and friends...but that one kind of backfired. Damn you Hollywood! lol After we broke up over it, I went on my merry way. When she randomly just showed up in my house one day without having heard a word from her in 3 years, I then tried to 'save' her from the drug spiral she was apparently deeply in...and that beyond painfully backfired as well. She damn near destroyed herself, then I damn near destroyed myself trying to save her, then her parents finally came and took her back to Florida long after the damage had already been done and they ignored my begging and pleading for that year of hell.

Another reason I'm not too thrilled by people who call themselves Christians...yeah, they went to church, but their daughter still went semi-badgirl, and when the shit really hit the fan as a result and I sacrificed myself and damn near sanity trying to bring her back from the edge, instead of listening, caring, and stepping in to help...they just prayed. Fucking wow. I was not a happy camper about that at the time. Granted, she was lying to them and quite possibly me about everything, but that's also another reason I don't think indoctrinating people with lies is the way to teach them how to be truly upstanding human beings for the right reasons. God our society needs a 2,000-year upgrade.

It took awhile to get over those never-believed-possible experiences. The girl I respected and dated back in the day had let her desire for attention and fun lead her into the wrong company, and when she came back asking for my help, I was so traumatized by what had happened to her life and behavior I felt I had to try and 'save' her to restore my previous respect for her as a person I once put on a pedestal like the rest.

Ummm...yeah. I recommend not trying that. It was tough trying to understand that the person I had dated and lived with for over two years was in fact more the creation of my own doing than her own character. Without me, she fell. And once she fell I even tried to pick her back up as a person and friend, only to find the person was never remotely the person I had made her out to be in the first place. At some point she did thank me for saving her life, but I still don't think her family remotely knows what she was doing or what she put me though, and I'm not sure she ever apologized for damn near destroying my life.

Oh well. Let bygones be bygones. She did phone in her condolences when my dad died a few years back, but that's the last I heard from her.

Add that to the list of other women I've tried to save and the consequent impact on my life, and you'll see why I think karma owes me....big time.

Anywho, I think the point I was trying to make was something about fame, behavior, and insecurity sometimes being the driving forces behind self-destructive or at least semi-pointless, hollow behavior.

Why would someone care if half a million strangers know who they are instead of being famous amongst a handful of close, respectable, mutually-important friends and peers? And judge them on what they look like?

What's the difference between a friend, an admirer, and a fan?

Sheer numbers provided by the platform and marketing machines?

But what about quality, close personal support, and finding oneself completely satiated?

Can the paparazzi, fans, and admirers give you that? Not likely. Everyone only has so much time to divide amongst others. Choose them very carefully.

I have noticed with the advent of digital technology, lots of cute girls are in love with their cameras and themselves. It's kind of cute in a way because it reminds me of me...or at least how I used to be--always worried about making the best impression. But at some point I out grew it...even though I still haven't completely. I still look in mirrors when I walk by them, although my house is no longer filled with mirrors (as it was back in the day for purely decorative purposes...except...well, nevermind...) so there is far less desire to be so self-conscious.

Who am I trying to impress anyway? Women? Which one(s)? Myself? Which one(s)? My friends? My true friends? All of them? I don't know. That comes with an interesting paradox. I eventually learned what my parents had told me about the perils of attractive women, and I got so sick of going on modeling auditions and just being judged on what I looked like with my shirt off and not my mind that I made efforts to decondition myself from focusing on aesthetic beauty. It made me resent only being seen for what I look like, even though back in the day that was much more important to me.

If you have a mind that you believe is far more beautiful than you are on the outside, but yet everyone always just looks at your body and puts you in that 'underwear model' category, how do you make people appreciate what's on the inside first before getting thrown in the disgusting pile with all other people who are just cute on the outside?

Fuck that. All cute people are not created equal. My problem has been settling for physical beauty while assuming that a similar spiritual beauty existed in these other creatures that were aesthetically acceptable, but that is not the case and the odds are statistically stacked way against it.

But what is the purpose of life if not to find or engineer a like-minded exception to the rule or two? :)

Objects of prolific beauty attract attention by default, so it's a given that people who have always been beautiful will attract attention, they are used to it. But what if they want people to see what's on the inside because that's what matters more? Would they intentionally hide their beauty just to try and find worthy people who could appreciate their inner beauty more deeply?

Once you've been around someone constantly for more than a few months, do you even notice their physical appearance or just their 'presence' more often than not?

When that point is reached, what happens to all the relationships that were built on foundations of plastic and the purely drug-like allure of sex much less lies or secrecy?

Not pretty.

Hugh Hefner is cool and I would like to design an improved, more sophisticated version of what he engineered for himself one day, but is it conceivable to think of super-intelligent, low-mileage, drop-dead gorgeous but still classy dreamgirls organizing themselves into protective groups?

I mean, I can't lie, the thought of seeing passion and love through a kaleidoscope and in multiples intrigues me, but yet you would want the girls all to be there by heartfelt desire, not financial here-take-off-your-clothes contract. I want romance and passion, not just lust and sex. Sue me.

But doesn't that require an element of respect and exclusivity like everything else?

I wouldn't want the girls to take off their clothes for anyone they didn't want to or under false representation/pretense, and, in theory, the fewer the number of people they took off their clothes for, the more valuable they would be. I don't want people to be seen just as sex objects, but appreciated completely as human beings with the full package. I guess we can call this my 'Diamond Theory' of human sexual behavior, but I have no idea how much traction it will have in today's reality. Since I'm just a rare specimen of a guy that kind of thinks like a girl (or at least takes the girl's perspective and well-being into account equally) ...and gets constantly mocked for it...not a girl, I can only propose these 'dream theories', but the girls would have to make it happen.

I may be totally off, but in a society that has such a high and-ever-worsening divorce rate, gays everywhere, and almost shameful role models indoctrinating the masses into short-sighted behavior on TV, I figure it damn sure can't hurt to throw my ideas out there as usual and let them land where they may.

The goal is to find a way to design and install value-added behavior protocols for girls by having them lean on each other for support rather than being subjected to the bullshit behavior and lies of most men in our society. Not all men, but most stereotypical men, are jerks and I would love nothing more than to invent a way for girls to protect each other from such predatory, disrespectful mindsets while adding value to themselves and finding comfort, respect, security, and even possibly pleasure amongst themselves along the way. I guess the theory is like pimping girls out only for true love and respect instead of sex. Crazy? Yes, but it sounds like a dream to me.

The funny thing is, if I found the right girl all this overthinking would be completely unnecessary, but like I said, what I consider eligible women are few and far between, and I'm intentionally in no hurry to get stuck in anything, so there is lots of room to move.

All it really takes is the will and the way.

So, how does this game work?

Well, this 'brand' of girl suddenly has unparalleled value and security as a human being far beyond sex, and the security and emotional, (sexual if so desired) protection of each other in the meantime. Sounds fair and smart, right?

I just dreamed of one dreamgirl to marry back in high school, but life has beat me up, and I learned some things, and now it could be argued that life REALLY owes me. I mean, if you've got money, money doesn't matter to you, but love still does to various extents, so why not try and find ways to find what you're missing in exchange for trading things you have more than enough of?

We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but I think as a society we can do better than the Millionaire Matchmaker.

Never sell out.

If the idea is to have your cake and eat it with insurance too, and all it takes is a little daydreaming and planning, then...well, I'm just saying, as you watch the news, and watch people's behavior, and you possibly try to figure out WTF is really going on...just think about 'outside the box' solutions like this and how they could apply to different people.

Being the ultimate center of attention is obviously not the life desired by everyone, but what if you had the best of both worlds and the choice at your fingertips? What if you could have everything, overnight, because you worked for it...would you want the ?????

It's all just hypothetical of course.

Ding.

That was a yet another random idea...hmmm...well, it damn sure makes for an interesting script.

Damnit! Something just occurred to me: The odds of finding girls on that level or finding a world of girls on that level are next to non-existant.

Any girls that have been brought into the world have already defaulted into different categories depending on the options presented to them and the world view they were taught or learned along the way. Damnit! Lord? Why must I live on a level that provides such a small, small group of viable options?

How can I take the Playboy template and intelligently, respectfully improve on it? I want my brand to stand for something as close to perfect as possible, not just meaningless sex.

Here karma... Here karma... Come on karma... Good karma...

For Christ's sake, you know, it's one thing that the Ferrari hasn't just fallen out of the sky yet, but this whole career retraining thing is taking forever (a few months Allen?) where I'm at because I don't have the right influences training me...namely me.

Doh!

Law of Attraction huh?

The Secret?

If you say so, I always look for designed coincidence, that's what makes it science not magic.

There is a difference, because everything has a source. Now then, tracking down the source in a world of relatively infinite information (in comparison to our brain's ability) isn't easy...but, ummm..., what if there were forces at work far beyond that???

Huh...ya think just maybe?

What's the difference between faith and indoctrination?

One is real and clear and can be proven, the other is caused by the denial of it.

Fooked up world we live in, but it looks like it will be a lot of fun to upgrade over time.

It's about the climb right? Yeah...that's what you think until you've already seen the top and threw yourself back down on a bet with yourself that if you made it back up you win everything. Even when you're almost to the top of the proverbial mountain the second time...I guarantee at that point you are thinking "fuck the climb".

...but you keep climbing anyway because it has something to do with building character...

And proving some undoubtedly stupid but I presume often overlooked point.

"Don't do stupid shit."

Yeah, but what's better: "Here's why...in detail."

Or at least that's the theory.

Any questions?

WTF?

Exactly. I hypothesize, you decide.

Or at least stand to see there are usually more than two ways to solve a problem.

There is more than one way to train a circus audience, and there is more than one way to perform in it.

Midget porn stars on stage with Britney on top of everything else that's happened in the world this year? Why do I fear some sort of man-made Biblical plague is being theorized?

Would Hugh Jackman still be attractive to women if he was poor and not famous?

What if he was a porn star?

Hey, it's not my society (yet), I'm just asking questions about how people analyze it.

I suppose I've dug my imaginary hole deep enough for one night. Yes, this was written at night.

See ya'll next time!!!

(I so cannot believe I'm going to publish this)

:)~

+AES