Your reality is only partially manufactured.

Overclockin' your noggin. Only on Sumdays.

There's a lot more to the story and off-the-wall rhetoric than at first you might suspect.

It's "just" a meme... Or is it?

If you don't know, you have no idea what you're missing, and there is only one way to find out.

That said; don't be silly. +he 777 Agend^ does not (Really?) exist. Any references are purely coincidental and most likely just a figment of your imagination. 0r not.

For the time being I have been using Facebook as my writing platform of choice far, far, far (x 100,000+pictures and real-time updating and now with New! "Reality Sync") above this blog, so if you're brave and/or bored/curious, be my guest by clicking the badge to the wRight.

You never know what kind of gems you might find hidden in the rough or just how valuable they could potentially be to you and your quality of existence within this lifetime on this planet. Hey, if it's good enough for the Best of the Best, then why would you think it might not be good enough to be of remote interest to you?


Interesting is an understatement.

Once you pay attention long enough to figure out what's really going on it will blow your mind.

In a Good way.

That would be the point.

Merry +++mas.

- A! -

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The G20 vs. Octomom

Anyone notice Mrs. Obama was wearing yellow when they arrived for the G20 summit earlier today?

....just like at the inauguration?

Well, my comically delusional 'secretly take over the world through the international media and Hollywood using a handful of carefully chosen symbolic shapes and colors' plot matters not anyway unless we can actually make some concrete gains in the right direction policy-wise. The whole government/world power grab thing would be fine IF it were the right, FUNCTIONAL structure for management of the human race...

....but that is not what I see when I turn on the TV to see resource-consuming monsters like Octomom roaming freely as many are expected to pay for the misdeeds of a few.

As my little radio and future TV show endeavor is currently named...WTF?

I know, I know...I just grabbed two completely different things from the recent media headlines and threw them together as if they're related...but in a way, they are. I think the word is irresponsibility. Short-sighted, selfish, careless behavior of the living in planning for the futures of those poor truly innocent spirits yet to be embodied into this growing nightmare of a world. Whose freedom is more sacred and therefore important?

WTF? (have your pet spayed or neutered UNLESS you and society can afford, are prepared for, and desire what happens if you don't)

All humans are not created equal. All humans do not act with equally noble intent. Some humans run faster than others. Some humans think much more quickly and from all sides. Some humans just want to have sex with anything wet that moves. Other humans think they are the masterminds and insist on using their superior brainpower to fix everything that comes across their path. Most humans just need and want attention.

Strangely enough that is a finite resource, right Octomom? Selfish bitch.

Somewhere between the truth, fiction, Jesus going MIA, and what the magic nonsense box provides as behavioral role model scripture in its place I think we might have a problem. And on a completely unrelated note, I saw the president of Brazil interviewed on CNN over the weekend and thought he sounded like a relatively intelligent, reasonable man...until I heard his comment about blaming the white man with blue eyes for all the problems afflicting the world.

These are the best leaders God can give me to work with? People who won't address the root causes of things but rather make up any number of incorrect assertions while failing to even solve the symptoms of the flaws in the human condition of certain members of the world society? Take everything on a case-by-case basis ya'll. At least think about it.

Do not worry, for, to be honest, this is not even a real blog entry. Not at all. I had no desire to write at the moment, nor anything specific to write about. I simply wanted to see if my brain is performing slightly better as I gradually remove the self-imposed limiters I've been using on myself.

Is it working? To be honest, can't really tell; however, on an equally unrelated note, I would like to end by saying last night's Colbert Report was absolutely brilliant in the way it spun hotly debated issues involving religion, science, and the 'apparent' perception of the world in which you and I exist.

Sometimes, the only way to make retards realize they are being retards is to run circles around them while making them laugh. Since my one 'apparent' epic talent is chasing my intellectual tail at lightening speed, it seems only logical that I consider officially joining the broadcasting circus at some point. Having been raised in rural Texas I thought being on TV just happened by some sort of magic for the first few decades of my life, turns out it might not be nearly that complicated.

Then again, logic has failed me many times when dealing with humans...I mean, in theory, since we now have the ability for near-instant global communication, there should already be a movement to create a unified global language based on text-messaging abbreviations and/or lolspeak...but yet all we hear about is money, money, money blah, blah, blah...


If everyone is so damn right, then how come nothing seems to be working?

Good question right?

BTW...I also think the world would benefit from using technology to start a degangsterification project and attempt to identify and curtail the dangerous genetics and circumstances wherever they may be instead of allowing them to multiply freely...but that would make too much sense right?

That is all. Carry on.



P.S. Here's the kicker. I wrote this somewhat scattered missive earlier for no real reason except that I realized I hadn't posted anything in awhile. After reading it, I realized that since it wasn't really aimed in any specific direction to begin with, it was still somewhat scattered, and that it wasn't an ideal sample of my writing ability to be posting, perhaps I shouldn't post it...especially since some the usual rhetoric seemed so tenacious. I actually copied the contents of this post to an email and just sent it to myself, then deleted the posting and never planned to publish it.

Well, all that changed on the way to class, because while driving to school I hit a red light. No, not just because I hit a red light, but because when stopped at the red light, a group of three school children passed in front of my car. 2 girls, 1 boy--probably 12 or 13 years old. Now then, it's not just that I stopped at a red light and three school kids passed in front of my car, it's that the girl closest to my vehicle was wearing tight jeans and big-assed gold hoop earrings that said SEX. (I mean literally, they said SEX.)

Step into my office... Why? Because you're fucking fired!

I'm sorry, but that is not sexy, that is REPULSIVE, and what I presume is God's way of refusing to let me ignore the fact that our society is headed right for even further depths of the genetic and circumstantial shitter. With all do respect, if that aspiring ho were sterilized at birth I wouldn't be nearly as concerned nor taking the time to actually post this, but unfortunately for all of us, that wasn't the case.

What a twisted fucking world it is when the To Catch a Predator bait wears hoochie-mama earrings advertising sex as if it is the only thing she is worth and 50 cent might be in the neighborhood for a night. THESE WERE FUCKING KIDS! From a retardedly dysfunctional home and environment no doubt, but the problem is, as the system stands, you can't fix that problem until that problem has probably created many more problems...and down the toilet what's left of the American dream and culture goes.

Granted, she's probably no Octomom who will multiply her own FAIL by 14, but you know there are going to be more dysfunctional members of the social environment in which we must all be exposed to some extent, and your tax dollars are going to pay for whatever mistakes that aspiring ho makes as she is looking for attention with the only thing she has...a wet spot between her legs. Sorry for the graphic nature of this post, but fucking wow.

Maybe the people not making the rules they need to make need to comes down off of their isolated houses on the hill and see just how fucked up things are as they try to throw money at problems that money will only exacerbate. Damn ya'll.

Breathe Allen breathe...calm down's not your problem, you're just surrounded by everyone else's at the moment and it gets a little hard for my thinking mind to understand.

P.P.S. The argument Colbert was having with the woman last night about narcissism versus superiority is valid, but I think it should be made on behavioral grounds.

P.P.P.S. I'm going to end on a lighter note with my picture of the day. When I park to go to school, I park across the street from a cop who has a pretty nice house given the prices of real estate in California. That's neither here nor there, but the interesting part is he's apparently a K-9 unit judging by the K-9 unit car that is always parked in the driveway. For someone who has the power to destroy otherwise upstanding citizens lives for something as minor as...oh...I don't know...marijuana possession, I thought it funny but yet WTF that he has a pretty nice travel trailer named "Blaze'n" parked right next to his police cruiser. That's about as funny as the LA police helicopter having the tail number 420 (I shit you not), but given the war on drugs and the voices of reason from LEAP, I thought it would be cute to post a picture:

Thursday, March 26, 2009

InfoMania: The Proverbial Target Demographic

This is where I plan to intern in the Fall.

Now then, how much cross-promotion does a boy have to arrange to get a foot in the well-paid doe?

(Sorry, 'doe' is a throwback to mocking the way Niya says 'door' on my radio show. You'll have to tune-in to catch up some point, or just switch to mustard.)

See ya round the internets and magic nonsense box!


The War on Politically Correct Ignorance

(watching Anderson Cooper 360 as he's reporting from the Mexican border on the "war" on drugs)

Enter L.E.A.P. (Law Enforcement Against Prohibition)


You guys STILL aren't seeing things right. All sides being presented on TV to millions of impressionable minds are INCORRECT. You guys are seeing it bi-laterally. Trying to see it as 'legal based on the current blind, ignorant law structure' or 'leave things the way they are'.

All you have to do is listen to me and give me the power, I tell you I did the research on this for a reason. Make no mistake, drugs are powerful and dangerous. Just like guns. Just like sex. But they can also be used as powerful tools for good in THE RIGHT HANDS and CONTEXT.

Mind you, you must have knowledge to understand something, and believing what someone else says without verifying it with matching facts is just not the way anyone should roll.

Some people are much more qualified to handle such things responsibly. Even more so, how could you expect someone to handle such powerful things responsibly if they have no required knowledge and understanding about what they are dealing with? ...but more so, best practice guidelines--HONEST ACCURATE TRACKING OF BEHAVIOR--and the whole new behavioral science-based comical pseudo-religion part of my plan to take over the world as an act blah, blah, blah...

Really, if you guys think I blow things out of proportion in amusingly counter-productive ways in certain areas, do you think it might just be to make a point at some point? Always rememeber I did the insanely hard stuff up front for a reason, because falling back in to more normal, comfortable group-influenced behavior routine is beyond easy. Easy is fun but not very challenging. That doesn't mean I can't do it.

This isn't rocket science, but if the modern world would get its collective intelligence out of its ancient ass we might have only good things to wake up to in the morning.

It's not like I haven't put a lot of highly, over-powered, redundant (;) thought into this.

Anderson Cooper just said 'cat propaganda'...I keep trying to tell you there is a lot more to what I've been 'imagineering' then you would believe unless you're paying close attention and have been for sometime.

The beauty of the drug war is it gives us an open door to seize the entire network like taking candy from an abusive parent and letting the professional buddha-type teacher design how to control it. Drugs change human behavior, but in predictable ways. Greed and criminal profit also change human behavior in an obvous way. Anyone see where the true problem lies yet?

The problem, and the big-assed ? you need to keep your eyes on is the people. People are always the problem, especially when they are dealing with things they don't understand in compromised positions. All people are not created equal, nor are they equally as nice or compassionate. When it comes to things like drugs, and guns, and sex you can probably trace these things directly back to the sources of problems in our society...because the current system is retarded and puts the power in the irresponsible criminal's hands...or the COMPLETELY REQUIRED TO BE BLIND AND INEXPERIENCED VIRGIN (law enforcement).

There's a difference between things that feel good and are good for you, but sometimes, with enough work and research, you can find things that are both. THAT is the goal.

I'm not saying make cops do drugs, I'm saying let scientists do them and work with politicians and spiritual geniuses to design a system that WORKS. Even a broken watch is wrong twice a day, and people are safer when armed with knowledge not blinded by lies.

Metaphorically speaking. It works but it doesn't.

I still want to bump the median IQ up 20 points and require non-decietful, non-predatory, non-completely selfish behavior (or at least more incentive for candor than lies). The present condition of certain humans and parts of the world seems so primitive compard to others doesn't it?

And all it takes is a little common sense to go hey, how could we harness this power and use it for good as a reward for meeting certain requirements...not just being 18 or 21. Fucking idiots.

No really, the world is not designed nearly as intelligently as it could/should be.

Cat propaganda says we need to first design the marketing campaign and intended 'experimental territory' to design my Disneyland beats the Playboy Mansion creation where you can meet God as long as you're willing to listen to what he says. Don't worry. It's only the truth...but then he asks questions. If you don't know what you're doing, then should you be allowed to do it?

Graduated freedoms ya'll. Think about it.

This is all about family planning for the yet-to-be-conceived generation. It's the only way it should be right? If you were God would you not want to protect innocent spirits before it's too late to prevent them from being born into a compromised and/or dysfunctional environment?

Sorry...I'm taking the rhetoric too deep again aren't I? Alright, I'll back up to the shallow end of using drugs as the righteous behavior incentive and reward instead of leaving it as the evildoer's magic that he has been using to destroy the world and short-sighted people's lives for far to long.

I'm telling you, it's just a matter of time until the truth and technology catches up with the flaws in the system and the laws written to protect it. It's all good until it gets hijacked, and since you're stuck on this planet too, sometimes you just have to hijack it back.

The catch is, even the 'bad' guys know I'm better than them because I know what they know plus I have the government and entire international community of intellectuals behind me. Well, maybe not, but if they knew what I did/do...the world would be a much more cooperative place.

Tygrrr Propaganda--> WTF RADIO+Saturdays @ = ;)

I talk really fast and on tangents about all sorts of things like this, so feel free to call in and argue or ask questions, because arguing with myself for too long just leads to the belief that I can do amazing things and then the next minute you're not even sure how you can allow potential employers to read your blog because so much of what I spin is esoteric (but cool as hell) and over their heads. Hell, of course this is over the head of anyone who knows not of what I speak.

But if you do...OMG!!!

Remember back when that was a key tagline and part of my literary character's rhetoric 2+ years ago? That is before I even started publishing the emails openly. Wow. long does it take to pretend to conquer and/or unite the world using umbrella media technology and the right...epic...storyline...and get a damn limited edition Ferrari air-dropped to me?

Law of Attraction you must have a delayed reaction on some things and yet uncanny timing on so many others. WTF?

I wonder if this will be a book one day...that you read in sync to your television...and suddenly you're aware and part of the ultimate game. You can't beat that with anything but what else I have envisioned for the future. Very, very nice things and cool shit.

So, am I going to have to use lolspeak and pictures of pets they relate to to relate the programming oversights in human behavior and/or explain them to foreigners?

If Google's with me, then the power is there.

President's Online Town Hall Meeting was powered by who?

Oh, snap. Yes, again. Did I mention how this entire nonsensical storyline wanted to elect Google president? Yeah, but that's a whole nother story.

5 years ago I bet you never thought you'd be reading (and hopefully paying enough attention to be seeing) this type of open network-distributed thought-provoking fantasy-type reality.

It's not magic, it's just television ya'll. They have to get the ideas for what they put on TV from somewhere right? Well, if you think you're so damn smart and have been debating what the most important use of one's life could be, why not submit your comically sarcastic plan to save the world? Oh, you didn't design one all the way back to the meaning of life?

That's why I'm saying we need to understand that some people are more qualified to handle and deserve some things than others, and that should be carefully tested and observed and used as the basis for bridging the gap between losing the war on fear of your own stupidity and where we're at.

It's called self control and understanding people. The day there are no more retarded people to show up on Jerry Springer or Maury denying parenthood and responsibility of probably even more retarded and broken offspring the world will be a verifyably better place.

"That's not possible."

Yeah right, and cats don't distribute propaganda.

Mind-boggling spin.



P.S. This is perfect, because I had just written a list of 'tough questions' to ask my guests once they enter the 'cage' (radio studio) yesterday. Well, if you believe in what you do and must stand for, then why would you want to hide or lie about it? It makes sense right? Eh, anyway, that would technically make three blog posts in one day...just like the good old days...but the strange thing is I still think as much if not more than I always have, I just haven't been going out of the way to write it down here so much. One day we are all going to look back at this and laugh. That's the entire point.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Yellow and Tygrrrs and Diamonds...Oh My!

...and off into the in Virtual TV Kingdom we go...

Speaking of acting "like a caged animal blindly lashing out in shapes and colors" (a quote from Stephen on The Colbert Report the other night)...I totally forgot to keep taking over the entire spectrum of color just to be a smartass.

When we left off last year, I had taken over the color Yellow and simultaneously started using diamond symbolism (but not for the reasons most people suspect...if you've been keeping track of my writing over time you know where it came from...if not, we can go back and explain later).

There's a bunch of other stuff I've said and done too, but for our purposes I figured it was high time we picked another color at random...

Actually after taking over the color Yellow, the next week I took over the color gray to represent how I view things in 'a thousand shades of gray' rather than black and white (i.e. context), but I never really ran with it, and gray may not technically be a color anyway. Hmmm.

Anywho, this week I would like to upgrade, and add silver to the list. Silver? WTF? That's not a color! You're thinking...that's a second-string metal and medal!

Ah fall in trap so easy.

Of course it isn't what you think it is at face value, it is nothing like you think it is at face value, that is how it hides right in front of you, already in your just don't know it yet.

For our purposes, we'll just go ahead and have the color Silver take the place of the color gray in my previous example, and further it's symbolic metaphorical usage to represent the metal aluminum instead of literally the metal silver. Have I lost you yet?

Hang on, as always, there's a method to the madness.

Why aluminum above silver you say? Well, technologically speaking, aluminum is far more valuable than silver, and is it not technology that is going to save if not rule the world? I mean, bang for the buck wise, aluminum is the way to go. I used aluminum trim on my previous ultimate house redesign project, and I always accessorize with aluminum or chrome instead of gold or other. Why? Just a personal style choice.

As far as what it means in my open-source project...? To redesign the way the rules work to coordinate with human nature more smoothly. With all due respect, with the current level of human advancement, there is no reason the quality of life should be so piss poor for so many on this planet. I say we blame their parents for bringing them into the world.

Fair don't take that the wrong way. The plan here is protect innocent spirits from creatures like Octomom before it's too late. The red flag would be that, genetically speaking, at least Octomom is much more intelligent than millions who have kids yearly...and how much money do you think you can put into the education system to try and educate creatures that can't/don't want to be educated because of the social dynamic expressed in Idiocracy and our 'sports-based' school culture?


Step aside kids, Idealism is about to hit Reality. Does it take a rocket scientist to look up and see how the system is obviously not designed like something as important as it is should be?

Now then, I suppose the only question is: Is this by accident?

Well then, to what end is it designed? Really? Even in my world where aluminum is worth more than silver and certainly gold style-wise? Technology-wise? Design and build the most efficient society possible, designed from the bottom up for the next generation.

How so Allen?

Well first, we have to obviously change our ways. To change our ways we simply need a society that designs the game differently (better). Look around you. It can't be that hard. And if you are one of the intelligent few reading this, then you are probably surrounded by relatively-superior like minds. Wow that must be nice.

On the other hand, why is the world so chaotic?

To be honest, it's extremely embarassing. I mean, just imagine if God were watching and taking notes for Christ's sake. The planet was so beautiful and balanced to sustain his little life growing experiment...then along came human exploitation. The universe is a garden, the planets are just the opportunities for the experiment to exist and begin self-designing itself.

I bet we find out there are things that connect us like infinite knowledge that we can't comprehend.

Hey, it's been happening since the beginning of time. The catch is, why the f*ck is ANYONE on this planet running on 2,000 year old propaganda? They can't be serious?

Can we at least get rid of the old parts and stories that we don't need and cannot be explained rationally in the context of human behavior?

Check this out--> Your mind is a computer. That doesn't mean it's programmed right.

(enter God stage right)

"What the fuck?"

I rest my case.

TBC...I haven't even started yet.



Sunday, March 22, 2009

Blog Facebook Update


Oh no! It's come full circle.

Allen Simpson just Googled 'Why is America the best country in the world?' and found:

BTW...strangely I have been writing more using Facebook as Twitter instead of blogging lately.

Eh, like I said, I go through phases.

More fun to come!



P.S. Does this count as a capture and release of 'my tail'? The only problem with chasing your tail is, whenever you catch it, it hurts and life is boring again. Damn ADD...I was reading this article posted by the girl who hosts CNN online about and the featured story was about a child who allegedly had 'autism, ADHD, and was mentally handicapped'. I thought, those terms sound mutually exclusive. My mom still doesn't realize just how short my attention span is, but she can't understand that it's hard to try at things I don't necessarily care about. I need a mentor!!!

I could literally, virtually take over the world and A.) She wouldn't know/care about it and B.) say "What did you do that for, now you have to take care of it?"

Which brings me to a point: it's easier to avoid causing a mess than it is cleaning it up, so everyone ( too!) please try to make a concerted effort to remotely start giving a f*ck--alright?

Can anyone explain how the money system that controls you works? Then is Democracy just a joke in that key respect for all practical purposes? Oh...that's how it works...but, it is still sensitive to real undercurrents in public sentiment, so it definitely makes for an interesting ride.

Vote on this shit bitch! said the gangsta rapper Colbert to the masses. (facepalm)

Happy Sunday ya'll!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

...speaking of clawing back...

Repeat after me:

What do you think we are...stupid?

Now then, all it takes is a couple tests to measure that regardless of what one's own personal opinion may be.

Is our society really so twisted? Are some things connected to others?

Things I once saw as attractive I realize are grotesque in a way.

Enter Music Television.

Now then, I haven't been paying attention for awhile, but according to Supernews! on current, MTV has gone the way that I feared it would. Doh!

Well, it's not like we didn't see that one coming right?


Anywho, maybe the world just appears to be full of relatively blind, self-absorbed clueless retards that wouldn't know financial enslavement if it bit them on the ass.

Hey...knock, knock...let's trade stories shall we?

There I was, there I was, there I was...watching television.


I mean really. The oh so important 'news' these days is not worth the few trillion that it's costing us. Is Octomom worth a couple trillion dollar budget deficit that you weren't being offered the opportunity to gracefully decline?


Thanks, but no thanks, we gracefully decline completely on principle.

These other clowns are just tripping on their own big-assed fancy shoes.

It is comedy and tragedy to watch.

Repent! Repent you fools!

What does that mean anyway? lol

Fuck repenting. Don't f*ck over people in the first place and you won't have anything to repent for...right? AIG? Really?

What about the other thousands of companies DIRECTLY benefiting from this bankruptcy project?

Truth in business should be mandatory, because lives depend on it.

Short-selling m*therfuckers. That was a hilarious use of an * wasn't it?

* = A universal vowel replacement? Hmmm...

Oh no! They've got unemployed citizens on TV.

Damn. According to the politician, we're screwed, because the only thing he has going on is blind and foolish positivity.

What do Octomom and the U.S. government have in common?

Blindly expensive and painful optimism based on conditioned, isolated behavior.

Hey, join the club, but some of us take it in a much more positive direction than others don't we?

Sue me.

Just waiting on the gorilla suit... lol

Hope everyone had a great Saturday!



Thursday, March 19, 2009


Is it pure coincidence that last year I created my 'entertainment alias' using the letter 'y' to spell my name differently and just the other day I heard on the Colbert Report that the SciFi Channel just changed their name to the SyFy Channel?

Allen Tiger --> Allyn Tygrrr
SciFi --> SyFy


I've gone to great lengths to weave my storyline and the symbolic metaphors within it much deeper than anyone else I've met...and openly (yet secretly) preached it for over 2 it gets kind of weird when the rest of the world seems to be mimicking my theme here and there. Could be pure coincidence and parallel thinking or it could be 'my tail' a.k.a. the results of my ultimate creative writing experiment. Hmmm...

Why? = 'y'

That is both the question and the answer hidden right in front of you. If you merely heard it, you would never know the difference, and therefore couldn't be expected to believe it. However, if you saw it or had it explained by the creator of the rhetoric, you might begin to understand.

...or I might just be really bored and consequently putting way, way, way too much creatively deep thought into anything my mind touches. I can't help it. My brain goes fast and deconstructs then reconstructs things without even consciously trying to.

Just something to think about.

Have a gr-r-reat Friday ya'll!



P.S. Hey! I had a great idea for some 'guerrilla marketing'. First I need a gorilla suit...then...wait a minute, if I openly share this and then see someone else doing exactly what I suggested I will end up frustrated, confused, and right back in this circle of trying to figure out what I created and had copied versus what just happens by pure coincidence. TBC

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Rhetorical curveballs.

Since when does one get millions of dollars for failure (cough or is it more like sabotage AIG, Congress, etc. cough)?

The more of this insanely criminal nonsense I'm bombarded with by my TV news, the more pissed off I become that I haven't yet literally received a limited edition Ferrari airdropped to me. Mind you, a Ferrari that I requested to be airdropped, by the U.S. government, over 2 years ago!!! What began as one small part of my ultimate sarcastically epic saga is really beginning to sound more reasonable by the minute.


I have openly asked more than once, and if being the sarcastically comical fool pretending to run the world from behind-the-scenes doesn't qualify me to get a mere half-million Ferrari airdropped, then how in God's name can this AIG nonsense even be rationalized?

Law of Attraction my ass.

Speaking of the 'The Secret' and corresponding 'Law of Attraction'...apparently I know a lot more girls that use it to 'find' parking spaces than I realized.


Help me Jebus!

If I were intentionally trying to write my life into a script, I don't think I could do this well.

Mind-boggling...but hilarious.

Off to editing class I go!



P.S. The cool news is Obama lands just down the street from school here in Long Beach tomorrow, and I have my cameraman lined up and plans to make it my first news piece to actually be aired on TV. Granted, it won't exactly be live or current news by the time it makes the local cable news broadcast in 2 weeks...but it's not a bad start and might make decent demo reel material. Not a bad start at all. ;)

P.P.S. I should probably not smoke weed then write half-assed blog entries with one finger detailing my random recent pseudo-religious discoveries on the internet prior to actually making would-be employers aware of this little gem of creativity, but the beauty of it is, if they see this and still take the time to interview me...they are my kind of people. It's not like I didn't buy Eternal Salvation online for $30 last week.

I just had to go and turn my life into an open book didn't I? Oh well, too late now. :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009


I found God.

He is a majorly sarcastic but intelligent chap.

Damn...I have no idea such things existed, but it is quite amusing.

F*cking aliens.

Elle oh Elle

It's code. Get it? Elle oh Elle = lol

Quite ironically these guys ideologically, instantly, retroactively picked up my slack. Wow, that was easy. Compared to these guys, my level of sarcasm and 'principled' preaching doesn't look at that bad.

Mind-boggling with the economy going the way it is. You'd think God might be testing AIG and watching the game like a sheep hawk.

I proud to say that apparently I'm simply not working for the right company. Yet.


Power to the pee pull.

F*cking sarcastic aliens.


Bonus random creative analogy-->The bailout is like certain kids pissing in the financial and ergo social pool of life. You don't need red dye when you've got temperature spectrum vision.

I will create my own temporary Sub-SubGenius Church for the sarcastic sake of putting this material to good use. I'll just recycle what I've got for the best of it and co-brand it to start.

The Spaghetti Monster Speaks!

...I can only imagine where next week's show is supposed to go and where it will end up instead.

In the meantime, here is some sage advice from the literary creation God of all sarcasm..the Spaghetti Monster (which Roger still does not know exists).

Daniel Yap (Australia) wrote on January 22, 2009 at 4:17pm
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go fuck yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):

1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable

I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline
. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

What's the difference between Lemonade and yellow Kool-Aid?

I'm not sure either, but you can always tune in to find out where such metaphorically rhetorical nonsense is headed and where it often ends up instead.

Also, Allyn takes us places we've never been before and aren't sure we wanted to go in the first place.

Plus!--> SuperRoger is back from his 2 month 'timewarp' sailboat cruise to Panama! What does he have to show for it? Tune in if you think you might give a damn out of nothing more than unbridled curiosity.

Hey, when life hands you lemons... ;)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Blurring the lines and back-dating parallels.

(This is an edited rewrite of a previous post of mine. Can you blindly guess the date?)

So anywho, I was lured into watching some Ron Paul propaganda, and I realized there is a strong voice of dissent from the one man that made a statement about not selling out...

...things that make you go hmmm...

Ah, the hell with it.

Here's what I wrote about I'm not even sure guys would love the stuff I haven't been posting. Although I suppose it's probably open knowledge and a running inside joke amongst certain law enforcement and intelligence communities given The Patriot Act and all.

It would almost be disappointing if it's not.

You KNOW they have got some funny stories of tracking some funny it's just a matter of them 'spinning-off' with a career change into writing and the use of fake names and metaphors etc. Seriously, where are all the sitcoms about the CIA, FBI, NSA, DHS, EDD, etc. spying on you? (Yes, I threw EDD in there just to be a smartass.) They can spy on us... but have to be too secretive about the information to even give us some good sitcom entertainment out of it? WTF? Where is your sense of humor?

Good-day mates!


"Why are we talking with Australian accents?"

Because I spent the whole first part of the story on MySpace Australia semi-unknowingly for no reason.

Don't ask me. The funny thing about online technology is it is largely geographically independent. I could be next door, but you'd think I'm in Australia b/c I overlooked one little field. Think about how close so many are physically while being psychologically isolated.

It's all relative, but that's ironically irrelevant occasionally.

Here's the nonsense for today:

Remember how I'm always talking about safety mechanisms through parallel stories? My whole little literary 'kingdom prototype in your mind's sky' thing?

Well, just in case, I've got a few pretty serious marketing campaigns just waiting on me to decide what to use them's just a matter of choosing how to be most constructive I suppose. ;)

I digress...

...while lost in la-la land, fighting a war on fighting and war...or was it just boredom and creative writing expressing disdain for ships of fools adrift in man-made perfect storms? Alright...don't listen to me...but drowning sucks.

Can no one trust anyone anymore for Christ's sake? And by Christ I mean the Sun and the idealized human behavioral metaphor...not the propaganda messiah. Why not start redefining what's right with the +ru+h vs. CHOSEN blind acceptance?

What do you mean it's not chosen but believed? Do you choose to believe? Do you believe you are chosen? Do you not think everyone should have to openly explain the meaning of life according to them and how they choose to pursue it? Shouldn't it be done BLINDLY on performance, personality, intelligence, creativity, and the ability to perform in that capacity most efficiently, effectively, happily, fairly and honestly if not compassionately?

So where the f*ck are the rest of these fools' minds @?

Don't get me started.

Although if it is just a financial metaphor you will survive right? At what cost? I'm going to make a t-shirt that says "Are we living in fear yet?"

I chase my tail, it chases me. My tail gives me attitude on occasion, sometimes I forget it exists and ignore it.

Is this how people see God or are they living in an entirely different and twistedly false group fantasy? Why? Suit yourselves...but mine is SO MUCH BETTER. The Spaghetti Monster gives me lots of flexibility when I preach. lol

"Can the economy be saved by commemorative plate sales?"

Figures the infomercial "fine print predators' would whore out the new president before he was even president. Comically tragic irony wrapped in mind-twisting bullshit. So you put some stickers on coins and sold them for $20 a set? Really Montel? Really? With the recession coming and all? Really?

Hi! I'm Allyn 'the Arbitration' Tygrrr. :)

(insert sarcastic alternate strategy)

Operation: Yellowcard :)

That's right, you have a temporary yellow insert over the flag or 'not-designed-to-be-blanket' issue if necessary while we arbitrate what the hell certain people have done to the future of our lives and why. I'm sorry...but I want the absolute best of the best running and designing the systems that govern me...that is NOT what I see or how our current government operates.

It's getting embarrassing and probably causing lots of psychological trauma. Ya think?

It becomes apparent quickly and painfully sometimes.

I would argue my plan is better.

Too extreme? You don't want to try and bribe certain people out of leading us down a future path to Idiocracy BEFORE we run out of imaginary money to buy them off with?

OK, fine...then can we at least elect Google to design an 'optimized' government from the ground up as I proposed a few years back? No, seriously. Use data to understand just how 'less than ideal' things are, then design a plan to correct it to 'best practices' sustainability by the most efficient and effective means necessary.

Well, suit yourselves. If nothing else this abstract argument should encourage 'healthy debate'. Personally I think Octomom's behavior and choices are criminal and abusive...but who am I to judge?...except someone who has gone above and beyond to not burden others unfairly nor bring innocent life into the world irresponsibly.

Sue me.

Speaking of failure to tame the rhetoric...

Guess what? WTF Radio is starting again. Get out your pom-poms girls!

Saturdays @ 1 PST on -->

Go Obama!...can you get me a minute-by-minute breakdown of what the CEO's that accepted the funds are doing? For what it cost us, we need to see the lifestyle that precipitated it from a '1st-person' perspective. ;)

That is all.


P.S. The beauty about numbers is that they don't lie...unless it was lies that created them.

P.P.S. Has anyone else noticed how 1980's-ishly outdated the Dow Jones board that keeps erasing years of your savings on super-CGI-enhanced TV is? The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Bonus Video!!! --> Australian Politicians vs. The Media Debating 'our' Economy

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Damn Facebook.

It looks like I'm going to have to force myself to be more constructive with my time and creative writing.


P.S. I used to be afraid of being used for money, now I'm afraid of being abused by it.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The American Corporate KGB

Allen Simpson is wondering if can answer my question "Is it possible to save the world?". ...but it costs 50 cents? WTF?
Allen Simpson at 10:12pm March 11
Then I would ask them if I'm secretly famous.

Then I would ask them how their mom is.

Then I would ask them what their SAT score was.

Then I would ask them if they even bothered studying.

Then I would ask them if they even read the book or tried in life.

Then I would ask why are they working where they are.

Then I would ask them where I could get a whole lot of expert knowledge and money quickly.

Then I would ask them if the human condition is usury.

Then I would ask them why.

That's it. Why. Why is my question. And all answers must be given and explained in terms of 'why' all the way back to the meaning of life. And it must be a relatively noble, fair, non-destructive, sustainable one.

Then I would ask them if certain religions can scientifically be taken seriously except in psychological terms.

One by one.

Then I would take those notes and use them to make a case to the world using the internets. In lolspeak.

Pure f*cking comedy. ;)

--> With pictures of pets and animals in lolspeak.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Do you REALLY think man is so damn advanced or 'right' at this stage in the game?

Amazing Posts

Historical Facts On Daylight Saving Time

Posted: 08 Mar 2009 04:37 AM PDT

1784: Ben Franklin floats idea of daylight-saving time during his time in Paris.

1907: London builder William Willett is the first to seriously push the concept in a pamphlet titled “The Waste of Daylight.” His plan: Advance clocks by 20 minutes each Sunday in April, roll them back by 20 minutes each Sunday in September.

1916: To conserve fuel during World War I, Germany and Austria become the first nations to adopt daylight-saving time.

1918: The United States gets daylight time fever. Congress approves the measure on March 19; it goes into effect 12 days later, on the 31st.

1919: Still a largely agrarian society of early risers, the United States dumps daylight time shortly after World War I ends.

1942: President Franklin Roosevelt revives “War Time” at the start of World War II.

1945: War ends, so does War Time. The option of keeping daylight time is left open to local jurisdictions. This creates a hodge-podge of time zones; according to the Web site, at one point the 35-mile drive between Moundsville, W.Va., and Steubenville, Ohio, required seven time changes.

1966: Congress creates a uniform - more or less - daylight time for the United States. States are given the choice of opting out.

1974: In response to Arab oil embargo and resulting fuel crisis, the daylight-saving time Energy Act is passed, pumping clocks ahead by an hour for a 15-month period running from Jan. 6 to April 27, 1975.

1986: Law is passed to begin daylight-saving time at 2 a.m. the first Sunday of April and end it at 2 a.m. the last Sunday of October.

2005: Energy Policy Act of 2005 extends daylight-saving time by four weeks beginning in 2007.

2007: New, extended daylight-saving time went into effect.

Did You Know

- It’s daylight-saving time, not daylight savings time.

- A U.S. Department of Transportation study found that daylight-saving time cuts electricity usage nationwide by about 1 percent a day.

- About 70 countries worldwide observe daylight-saving time. The only major industrialized nations that don’t: Japan, India and China.

- In 1999, a terrorist attack on Israel’s West Bank was thwarted when the terrorists failed to take into account the switch back to standard time. The bomb went off an hour early, killing only the terrorists.

- Data shows violent crime is down 10 percent to 13 percent during daylight-saving time than standard times, according to a study from the U.S. Law Enforcement Assistance Administration.

- Passengers on Amtrak during the traditional “fall back” might experience a delay. Trains cannot leave a station before their scheduled time, so in early November trains will stop at 2 a.m. and wait an hour before resuming. In the spring, trains become an hour behind schedule when time leaps forward an hour, but they keep running to try to make up the difference.

- Daylight-saving time is not observed in Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and Arizona (except Arizona’s Navajo Nation, which does observe the time change).


You'd have thunk God and the prophets of times LONG gone by would have bothered to invent such obvious systems much earlier...would you not?

What's that you say? Technology changes everything?

Allow me to take care of that check, mate. ;), I haven't even read it all the way yet, but the first few lines were enough for me to feel compelled to point out how OLD some of the thinking that governs us is.

Damn...I mean, I'm getting made to look foolish by 18 year old girls for respecting women--and yet somehow there is supposed to be marriage and 76% of Americans are allegedly Christians?

You've telling me 3 out of every 4 people I meet are stupid enough to believe in the Bible as literal truth? That can't be possible. It is a terrifying scenario if it is true, because it means they aren't just sheep, they are sheep that behave like ostriches.

I guess that just means you have to build an ostrich communication network underground.

Help me Jebus!




The WTF "toes in the water" club report. Operation: Wargame?

Howdy kids!

So, as any of you who follow me on Facebook or otherwise know, last night I was once again momentarily lured by curiosity, and the desire for new music for the radio show, and a certain degree of peer pressure/social-relative-isolation back into the fringe of the Hollywood afterhours club scene.

My friend Darren, a.k.a. 'D'Morse', is a DJ/acquaintance of mine from back when I was momentarily producing a nightclub in Hollywood circa 2002. Needless to say the entire saga of me foolishly dating the, highly-attractive, yet wrong kind of women that led me into said club scene is a novel in and of itself, but that's a whole nother story that I'm sure you've heard me go in circles about on my radio show by now.

Upon momentarily revisiting a small scale version of the demographic yesterday evening, I am suddenly reminded of many hilarious things I had previously forgotten, but standing there drinking my $5 bottles of lemon water, the only things I could think of were:

  • A.) WTF? lol WTF? lol WTF? lol facepalm
  • B.) Man, the music is great, the lights are great, in times past the 'experience' was really great...but, seriously, some of these people are the problem where as others are being put in the basket with them for no good reason. Hmmm...
  • C.) This is why I'm afraid of women. Yes, you're really 'hot'...but...ummm...if you're the type of girl that will approach me all 'frisky' like as a stranger in the club...then you are the type of girl that will approach other men/women all 'frisky' like...and having known what some men and women who act like that are like...I'm not impressed that you have such disturbingly low personal boundaries even if you are aesthetically eye-catching. Sue me.
  • D.) Wow...if this is the basis of my adaptable platform for world human behavior association restructuring....I've already got Asia in my pocket.
  • E.) I have got to find a way to get a camera crew in here to film this mockumentary/script I wrote about just this type of circus a few years back.
  • F.) Damnit...I wish Darren would just give me the CD's I came for instead of making me stay here dead-sober, bobbing like a robotic wall flower, as I watch him play rockstar/DJ.
  • G.) Hmmm....I see lots of ways to improve the operation and maybe make money off of it...but no, NO we aren't wasting our time in the club scene again, except to have connections for entertaining new friends if/when needed.
  • H.) Damnit...I have really got to find a way to get a camera in here to film this.

I could compare and contrast it to the handful of WTF behind-the-scenes HandyCam videos I took back in the day and make a hilarious case-study out of it...but then again, I've got a lot of other more important things to do...but I just found a long-forgotten goldmine of comedic material of mine.

Add it to the list/skit/routine.

Since last time I dipped my toes in the water a few months ago just to see what there was to see, there have been some slight improvements the bathroom attendant has now added a laptop and mini-keyboard to his act. Now, as you stand in line to pee or give him a dollar just to wash your hands, at least you're treated to some modern day street art-type music as well.

I wonder if this could be used as a metaphor in politics? don't even know...the really funny stuff is the line-up of characters you see on/around the dance floor and how they interact with one-another. Some hilarious...some worry, seriously. The bad can ruin the goodtime for we do need more truth and transparency in the world in general.

Having spent many years away from such a nonsensical sub-culture that I can't completely explain my momentary participation in the first place (except to make a movie one day ;), going back is like instant 3D deja vu. It's like the same fascinating behavior is at hand, but with a different cast of characters, and from an even less-thrilling viewpoint. What this has is the potential to be the human common denominator...but only in the right hands (cough I suppose me and a team of selected experts to start cough)...and become the foundation for a new world understanding of accentuating the positives of human nature. Sure, there are some bad apples in there, but, if you take the 'fuel' out of their hands, and use it as the reward in a transparent yet controlled circumstance...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if I had the resources and 'legal flexibility', I could design an island that would blow Disneyland and the Playboy Mansion combined out of the water, and might even give all religions and even atheists some common ground on which to stand.

Anywho, to make a long story short--came, saw, was bored but reminded of ideas for a TV project, don't plan to go to the Winter Music Conference in Miami as invited, but still think the world and human condition could be rewired to a 'higher state of understanding' with the right system.

That's about it.

It's still raining dysfunctional government and nonsense on I'm going to keep working on improving myself over trying to speak truth or reason to people in compromised financial positions. It's like a standing joke at this point right?

Alright, I'm done for now.


Happy Monday!


Update: 5 minutes later--Classically I'm watching a report on Paris Hilton's behavior in selling sex to sell burgers to make money by selling the illusion of money and sex. Anywho, being an object of sexual desire is not a bad thing, but 'socializing' your sexual behavior so shallowly for attention or short-term pleasure isn't exactly pretty nor sexy if you ask me. You're worth more if you make yourself worth something a lot more valuable than money. R-e-s-?

Saturday, March 7, 2009


Yes, the radio show will be on at 1 (PST) today as usual.

(insert applause)

Don't fucking ask me what to expect.

(insert standing ovation)

Have a great day!!!



Update 3:30 p.m.-->Well, I'm not too sure about professional formatting, but it was damn sure funny doing it. God-willing Goldilocks will do all the technical work to get it online in podcast format, since that is what she has conveniently been trained to do by CBS. lol Of all the lists I made, of all the funny/important stuff I wanted to talk about--next to none of it made the broadcast, but yet we managed to laugh our asses off about each other for 2 hours straight. I should fire myself and rehire myself back in a different way. Yes, again.

Friday, March 6, 2009

God and/or Hollywood just loves to mock me.

So, not even one week after my previous relatively-dead-end yet acceptably lucrative "normal" full-time job as a Marketing Director ended, the phone rings completely out of the blue.

It's Hollywood a beyond comically paradoxical way.

For those of you who have been completely unaware of my secret writing project over the last few years, it has essentially attempted to touch on all aspects of the human condition in one way or another in regard to how to build/design a more idealized society. As such, it included everything from Jesus-type rhetoric to mocking gangsta rap and any number of random solutions on how to "save the world" using modern communication technology.

Sure, it's unusual and "unique", but I presume everyone is used to it by now.

So here I am attempting to approach solving society's problems from a "rock-bottom up" Jesus-type perspective, while at the same time ranting to the mainstream media in colorful enough language that occasionally my two cents make it into the ultimate upper echelon of "healthy debate" Obama so often encourages.

It's a long story, but we'll get back to that another time.

The present day finds me freshly showered and about to throw on some casual clothes to head to CBS Radford Studios...where they plan to dress me up as a Nazi SS officer for an episode of CSI: New York.


Well, although the entire scenario sounds almost absurd given my preaching over the last few years, I assume it makes sense in that I do look German or 'Nordic' to an extent. In truth I'm told (by my mom) I'm German, Irish, Polish, and French...which in itself is a paradox. Using nationalist behavioral stereotypes at various points in history on my own ethnicity means I singlehandedly conquered myself, was fighting mad enough about it to stage a grassroots insurrection, and eventually evolved all sides into a modern version where all previously warring factions appear remarkably similar.

Eh, whatever, today's reality is just a non-speaking part on TV.

What made this even more humorous than the initial call from the casting director the other day was actually listening to the line-up of characters scheduled for today's shoot. Everything from modern day FBI agents and detectives, to pretend camera crews and boom mic operators, to pretend members of a delegation from the Israeli Embassy, to three other SS officers, to some pretend concentration camp prisoners, to a handful of "Hitler youth".


One week I'm sitting at a desk, stuck in front of a computer, bored out-of-my-mind eloquently describing software I don't remotely understand, the next week Hollywood has me dressed up in the ultimate WWII monkey suit and staging scenes from history that were long before my time.

Well, it is damn sure comedy if nothing else.

No more time to ramble, must go to work as highly underappreciated set decoration.

Two steps forward, one step back and to the side.

Hope everyone is having a relatively great Friday!



(stop mocking me for my 'positive' signout)

P.S. I still have no clue whether SAG, EDD, Hollywood, Washington, my "tail", or just pure blind coincidence (a.k.a. "God") is responsible for this...but it is work! :)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The government is a bad joke.

So, I'm playing the Guinea Pig role to test the system from the bottom up right?

Sure. Fine. No problem. My ego can take it. This was the entire plan.

As per the "being laid off" process, the obvious first step is to file a claim for Unemployment Insurance. The idea is to have the government pay you back the money you paid into it while working to keep you alive while you look for work in the economy that is laying off more workers by the day.

Fair enough.

So like a responsible little citizen I filed all the pertinent paperwork immediately and CORRECTLY and waited on "the system" to send the next hoop to jump through, which they did today.

Three envelopes.

One to detail any work you do over the next "claim period" of 2 weeks.

One explaining that you are required to register with CalJOBS, the state job search site.

And one more detailing the benefits of your claim, what your earnings were as reported by your previous employer, and what documentation is required for proof of identification before they send you any payments.

No problem. Par for the course.

...except that you notice your employer grossly reported your earnings completely wrong. Judging by the caliber of the talent I was used to witnessing while working at the circus, I'm not surprised, but since they reported the "income earned every two weeks" as the "income for the quarter" (3 month periods)...before my raise...the numbers EDD based my payments on are less than 1/6th of the correct amount. WTF? People, get your shit together for Christ's sake.

So anywho, like I said, judging by the list of accounting oversights I witnessed while working there, this isn't that surprising, but it's not the reason I'm blogging about it, because it should be easily fixed by calling EDD as they instruct you to right there on the form. Right?

So you call the number and get a recorded voice announcing they have increased the weekly payment amount by $25 on all claims as per the "stimulus package". In light of the bank bailouts, I would almost consider this a slap in the face, but that's irrelevant at the moment.

The reason I took the time to write is because at the beginning of the call it announces "they don't have enough people to answer the calls" before giving you the $25 speech. Then, it recommends that you call on Wednesday or Thursday (It IS Thursday!) says goodbye and hangs up.

There's your solution. Being hung-up on, with no alternate course of action, with nothing resolved, with their deadlines stated, and their shortcomings affecting your very ability to exist despite the fact that YOU paid for them and this out of your life as exchanged for salary.

That my friends is a perfect example of just how pathetic beyond comprehension the system is designed, and EXACTLY why my "alternate plan for history" involves electing Google to redesign and run the government from the ground up.

So basically, there is a night/day error that has a very short stated deadline for resolution or else you're SOL (Shit Outta Luck for those of your unfamiliar with how normal people speak since the government instead chooses to spend its time and resources enforcing things like OPI laws)...and you cannot get in contact with the system, as the system itself specifies in order to resolve it.

Mind you, for people living paycheck-to-paycheck this could be a life threatening scenario, and to build/run/ALLOW a system to function in this way is simply unacceptable.

Why not hire some fucking EDD staff to avoid completely underscoreing the paradox of having all the money disappear into the pockets of those that would never even experience such an insult to their existence as this?

Yet another feather in my cap of using my "front lines" position to illustrate why those in power should not be in power partying at the White House and forming conga lines as they system they are privileged enough to be responsible for destroys the lives of people that do not have the power to change it.

Too bad the president isn't secretly a person going through these same mind-boggling experiences first hand...then he might be pissed off enough to take specific action to correct it.

I digress.

I'm sure this saga isn't over yet.

Have a great day!



Update: I reported and requested assistance with my problem via the "Contact Us" feature of their website. Hold your breath and we'll see how long this takes. They should refer people to the website on the form and voicemail, but it appears they haven't been updated since February 2007. Wish me (them) luck! ;)

Update #2: Called first thing in the morning...same scenario: "We are receiving more calls than we can answer...blah, blah, blah...goodbye." Click. Why does their workforce and system not 'flex' and adapt instantly to the workload at hand...especially when it is such a critical element?

Update #3: Oh no! It just gets worse and more frustrating as we going, knowing that they have made a glaring mistake and there is apparently simply no way to contact EDD because they are "receiving more calls than they can handle". This is the definition of failure. I've called and called first thing in the morning (I would LOVE to see the statistics on how many other people are calling and how the EDD is run) best you can get through to the next menu...then get hung up on just the same. It's incomprehensible. There is a mistake on their end that affects one's ability to survive...and they simply are unavailable and their solution is just to have a computer say goodbye and hang-up? Grrr...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Timemachine--> The Logistics of World Domination February 11,2008

Alright, so it occurred to me at some point I should take the time to go back and read what I write, and then analyze where I was at in life when writing it, and see how my views compare then with how they do today. Even though it's all still relative and subjective, which leaves next to infinite room for improvement. lol

Since my old blog was even more half-assed than this, I didn't publicize it. However, now that I'm using a new site that functions more smoothly and keeps track of things much more professionally, I figured I'd go back and revisit my blog from years past to see what I was preaching while updating my mind and current blog with the content.

Occassionally I dispense abstract nonsense just to see what kind of splash it gets in the media stream. You can tell whether or not people understand and relate just by their reactions. But, in my defense, compared to the other 'Jackass-esque' nonsense on TV, this only provides amusing conversational cannon fodder and a comical back story line.

I typed in today's date in my blog from last year, and it took me to this one from February 11th. F*ck if I know. That's why I decided to upgrade from MySpace. It was dysfunctional for my purposes more than I realized. Great for bands and promoting I archiving, not so much.

Anywho, that's neither here nor there. But here's what nonsense I was stumbling across, reposting, and then commenting on last year.

My what a funny world.

(insert Godwin's Law)

Everything below this line is from last year.

Monday, February 11, 2008

F*cking nevermind. It wouldn't copy the formatting correctly. Mind-boggling.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Counterfeit Personalities

It just occurred to me...that might be a good way of describing what I take issue with more than anything else, because just like counterfeit money, when it is passed unknowingly, the receiver incurs the debt.

It sounded like an interesting metaphor for lies. And, I know, I's not a perfect world...but you don't want to trust people like Casey Anthony obviously.

Now then, let's take a little peak under the hood of government shall we?

For the sake of the experiment, erase all names. Now then, what we are going to model and demonstrate is how the gears are designed to work. Why this country was founded by revolution in the first place. Then compare them to the "ideals" on which all great countries are founded provided they are based on truth not religion.

Sounds fair enough right? Hell, make truth itself the religion, and you're saved from yourself.

Problem is, this can make you vulnerable, because, in times past they could take advantage of you with carefully placed half-truths and exaggerated arguments.

Why argue whether or not Jesus was born in a manger, when the obvious real debate would be why in the name of all that is honest and holy should we be expected to buy this in the first place?

Do the right thing for the wrong reason?

That is wrong. That is a salesman having taken over what began on principle for his own profit.

Which is how the system was designed. The only problem is, people's ability to communicate and obtain knowledge has grown significantly almost over night.

Thus the entire purpose of the story I suppose.

Anywho, if you know people or work with people who lie to you, is that really what makes you think they respect your best interest above their own unfairly? WTF?

Exactly. Just assume technology will eventually = the +ru+h.

Stupid abstract code writing. Now then, don't start sweating because God has offered to give you flexibility...provided you have treated others equally kindly and flexibly with what power you had over them. It makes sense right?

People are people, but they should be required to treat others as they would like to be treated or risk having it come back on them. How many billion is too many?

Here's an idea. Past a certain point, instead of 'taxing' the rich, just make a game out of required charitable donation that involves actually giving a f*ck. What's wrong? You don't give a f*ck?

That's fine...but it'll cost you just a bit more. Fair enough? You still don't give a f*ck?

About anything but money? Are you f*cking kidding me? What is the point of money again?

What is the point of truth and reality? What is the point of life?

So, in summary, people should be required to deal honestly with full disclosure in relation to monetary matters that affect us all? Love and war can be really troublesome distractions, that a little flexibility, reason, and understanding can avoid.

A few more notes on saving the world...

Alright, so here we go again--I have exposed my mind to the media stream at various points throughout the day and now have some notes on how to separate the good from the bad from the ugly from the WTF etc.

1.) The whole Rush Limbaugh debate. Simply make him speak ONLY in terms of the past $700 bailout when Bush was in office. If that's the Republican brand he's selling, then he obviously cannot be trusted nor taken seriously. Yes, it really is just that easy.

Don't worry, this doesn't just apply to Rush, this applies across the board for it is a unsustainable lifestyle/spending addiction America suffers from...some much worse than others.

(insert picture of Paris Hilton)

Trust me, if she wasn't born into and conditioned by such circumstance, she most likely would be a completely different human being. Although not necessarily in any specific way, which is essentially saying nothing.

(Insert the comically unreal housewives of Orange county)

Just like an addiction, which causes behavior to spin more and more recklessly out of control while preoccupied by not-necessarily-completely-well-thought-out obsessions...all good things must have limits and moderation to make them worth having.

Desperate for attention and insecure and hiding behind money to solve that?

Join the club. It's human nature.

What good is having something valuable if you aren't using it? What is the bare minimum? What do you consider excess? What is the point at which more does not have a proportional return on performance improvement?

I will agree that a hand-out, "victimized" mindset is not the way to approach policy...except in the specific instances when people have been victimized. And then you specifically track down the slightly-more-abusive mindsets that did it, and expect them, and only them, to specifically pay that person back. Easier said than done, yes I know, but it only makes sense to fight rhetoric with rhetoric.

Beyond that, you've got a problem from the first bailout onward. It's a psychological problem, because people know when they are being robbed (and therefore treated unfairly) regardless of how you spin it. Republicans are just as guilty, so it really takes some balls for Rush Limbaugh to speak as if he's Ron Paul without that same high ground to stand on. What seems to be quite often overlooked is the disparity in the American standard of living...not between classes...but OVER TIME.

All that money has been selfish collected at the top, not redistributed through trickle down anything. If the system is based on greed...and greed for money is what drives you really expect the majority of people with lots of money to share it out of the kindness of their heart since that is how they became rich in the first place? That is counter-intuitive is it not?

Just last year we were watching specials about "The rise of the Super Rich"...and now we realize the consequences of allowing such excess to go to an overly comfortable few instead of the borderline many.

Just the year before last for Christmas...the "Best of Craigslist" included a cocky post from some Wall Street type bragging about what an obscene amount of money he had...and then going on to parlay it into attempting to attract female companionship with the lure of money.

Is that what this country was founded on?

Get back to me.

Happy Square Root day biatches!



P.S. There should be plenty to go around if the system were being designed and controlled more carefully. You do need to install breeding restriction requirements as some point...or else human kind will just destroy the planet's life-sustaining resources like a cancer. If they are blinded by money in doing so then that's just a double-whammy.

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Healthcare System is...


It's basically like saying "your money or your life"...but at an abusive price.


That said, if so many people weren't bringing irresponsible innocent lives into this world under compromised circumstance, it might be more reasonable to take care of the ones that are here.

I'm telling you, offer people a higher, protected standard of living in exchange for NOT reproducing without meeting certain requirements first.

Call it what you like, but not all people can be trusted equally, and America has some glaring examples of what not to do in certain areas. It also has some ideal examples of what to do. So, the catch is, you have to design an incentive-based system besides just a punishment-based one.

blah, blah, blah...I'm going to workout.


"That sh*t is wizard" apparently now means "that sh*t is good" according to the Daily Show.

Sure, hey, why not.

Note to self: Learn how to work magic logic box network.

The three little pigs...

Today's assignment:

Compare and contrast to the economy.

That's right. Start explaining the scenarios in fairytale fashion. And start with comparing American's behavior with the three little pigs scenario.

It's not rocket science said Bolt to his imaginary friend.

No more wit for now. Wow, the media stream is so polluted sometimes.

Why are they trying to prop up a pile of financial lies?

Why not make everyone behave less capitalistically on each other?

At least give people the option "truth or fantasy" as some point.

I'd have to say it was a good day.

It's time for the Daily Show and Colbert Report!



Blah, blah, blah...the economy.



Whatever works.

So it turns out on Friday my latest job as prized pet was downsized--to the point of no longer existing. But, to be honest, I'm actually quite pleased about it. It was great proving that I can keep a job and all, but since I'm a perfectionist at heart and much more "free spirit" than caged worker bee, the thought of actually getting to see the beach I live across the street from instead of working in a metal building with fluorescent lighting for the summer isn't exactly all tragedy.

I have a few months cushion, and a few options beyond that, as well as a list of presumed easily attainable "aspirational" goals, so, for all practical purposes, I feel like a free man again for the time being. I'm all for working hard, but I'm also for getting recognition and reward for said work, not smothered by something out of a scene from where Idiocracy meets Slumdog Millionaire.

For the record--I haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire, but I'm guessing.

Anywho, now that my apartment in Long Beach no longer feels like a prison, suddenly the days are brighter and my thinking is officially back to thinking about all the things it daydreams about otherwise. I presume this only means I need a better fit for my personality. Plus, the Jaguar's mom texted that "God has a better job for me anyway".

Sure. Fine. Close enough. Can I hold him to that?

At the moment I'm waiting on Super Roger to get back from Panama to write an optimized cover letter for me. He's a much better writer than I am, and he should know me well enough to make me sound good from a 3rd person perspective without committing perjury. lol

In the meantime I'm enjoying eating healthy, working out, catching up on a serious to-do list, and not being forced to listen to incorrect analysis and then take action on it just to get paid every week. Rate your boss! (cough, government, cough) So I'll consider the recession a positive thing, since it is change that brings opportunity, and the Lord apparently works in sarcastically backwards ways.

"No Allen, I won't make you instantly rich amongst a small, spoiled group--but I will bring many more decent people down to your level without reason overnight."

Damnit...and they still wouldn't listen to me.

God, did you really cause/allow this economic collapse to happen?

Certainly not, right? I mean, if you are all-powerful and all, and your name is being used on the money, would one not think that you would have the power to instantly use your network to remedy such "unacceptable oversight" of the way the great Earth experiment is going?

Seriously, consider life God's hobby. You've got a universe which is like the material. Under the right circumstances the material can form, and then learn to form itself. Now then, when your life experiment has evolved to the point that a very small percentage of WTF have the capability to affect the life experience of so many, is there not a better way to convey the point?

Should Rush Limbaugh have his fortune wiped out and be forced to live at rock bottom as he is "role playing" the other side of what his words do not see? Only fair right? I always question fat men. People will now have to release full disclosure information and have it posted next to their opinions as your hear them. Somewhere between Rush and rappers we might all learn something.

My dad was a big Rush fan, but that's another story. Plus, even if I told my mom about how I saved the Republicans from themselves, she wouldn't care or believe me. So what's the point? If political opinions are supposed to be formed from a purely selfish perspective, then... Well, I guess there's that pesky "consider the source" problem again. I have a REALLY hard time believing anyone these days, because advice is all relative, and I'm intelligent enough to see how those with bully pulpits spin things. "They must think you're stupid."

And, by putting everyone in that boat but yourself (by use of the word "you're" in a public speech), you just created a self-full filling prophecy. Technically, relatively, subjectively, proportionally--some people ARE stupid. How stupid? Stupid enough to believe what YOU'RE saying without understanding or knowing the entire game being played? So then, that technically makes them stupid as you insinuate that the other party thinks they're stupid...because they are, for the exact reason you are demonstrating.

Mind boggling in the brilliance and tragedy of being right in all the wrong ways.

Hey, join the club. But that's why it's called "healthy debate".

Here's the problem...not EVERYONE listening to you is that stupid. Many are, but not all, but thank God America is such a united, calm, rational, respectful, healthy, intelligent, well-educated, and peaceful society.

Nothing personal, just more sarcasm at the buffet where that came from.

But don't worry, I'm here to put a bunch of us back in their places, so we can understand just what the f*ck we're dealing with.

(10 minute break)

Sorry, I had to go to the window to see what all the fuss is about. Three police cars, a fire truck and an ambulance. What was the big deal? Nothing apparently. Just looked like the standard "official over-reaction" to God only knows what. The cops just came back outside, got back in their cars, and everyone just drove off. Where's the real-time police blotter when you need one? In Texas, the police would find our dogs for us when they ran off, here...they are so "hypersensitized" from dealing with thugs all day they act more like soldiers. Hmmm...

Well, that's the effect sirens and lights and guns and tasers and conditioning have I suppose. If you're desperate for attention in a career, there are obviously several paths open to you.

Anywho, so after that I was interrupted by stopping to watch the Jaguar in the kitchen trying to make a smoothie. This would normally be nothing of interest, but the way she was standing towards the counter, with a wide stance like she was about to wrestle the blender, made me say something smartassed to her about it as she apparently didn't realize how serious she looked when trying to get the "magic bullet" blender cup thing onto the motorized portion.

Since I was by her end of the hall anyway, I decided to stop by the bedroom to see what her kitties were up to. Open the door and---low and behold---apparently they do actually watch TV.

The little kitty citizens probably think the magic nonsense box is God, but they don't understand what it's saying, but if they were advanced animal minds simply incapable of speech, they might recognize patterns of shapes or colors. So, in theory, it just occurred to me that one could subliminally register in certain animal minds patterns of directed thought that could be perceived as--and therefore technically be--God.

Yeah, I'm not sure either. I just make this crap up as I go, but it was interesting that Lucas gave me a "why the hell are you bothering us can't you see I'm watching TV?" look while Bella was apparently bored with whatever programming and rolled over wanting attention. I've never personally had cats, so pardon me for being surprised that they learned how to watch TV. Christ, even ours pets dreams are now indirectly controlled by the magic nonsense box.

Hare-brained idea: The Pet Escapism Channel

Anywho, this will conclude my token publication for the day as it is apparent I'm on a tangent not directly related to saving the world. Watching the news is like a curse, because instead of being fed information, you're being fed bullshit half the time. Watching all these assholes get up and express their views using absolutes as fact when they obviously only have a very rare and insulated perspective that is self-centered to say the least...makes even my own nonsense look almost rational.

We need more critical thinking tests in this world.

(insert random call out of the blue to work on CSI: New York on Friday)

Hmmm... Eh, sure, why not? The question is, how do such things just randomly happen out of nowhere? God? EDD? SAG? My stupid "tail" chasing me? Pure coincidence?

Eh, whatever works.



P.S. Just spoke with the casting director...the part calls for dressing up as a German soldier and possibly holding a German Shepard... He said "Are you comfortable with that?". I said "It's only television." Why does God mock me? Well, if prince whatever can get away with doing it for Halloween, then wearing a uniform makes me no worse than Tom Cruise...and that's not bad company. Although if I ever do run for political office instead of quietly trying to influence the world, I can just see some retard trying to use this against me. Anyway, while I'm on the subject, all the evil shit the Nazis did was wrong, but you do have to give the Germans credit for designing some impressive schemes and machines. The Nazis were wrong, they drew the lines wrong, but they did have one of the greatest propaganda machines in history. Well, them and every other country that tries so damn hard to control things...but don't get me started. I would presume the internet will destroy the need for such logic in all civilized worlds at once very soon. That is all.